I woke in the dark. The house was breathing. I did not sleep. I sat on the edge of the bed. The wood creaked. It was not my weight. It was the house. It was always like this. The walls sweated. The floorboards groaned. I am not afraid. I am not brave. I am just here. I have been here for days. I have not left. I cannot leave. The door is locked. I know it is locked. I feel the lock in my teeth. I taste the iron. I taste the fear.

The house is a beast. It is a cage. It is a mirror. I look in the glass. I see my face. It is not my face. It is the face of the man who broke it. I am that man. I am the one who hid the key. I am the one who lied. I think the lie. The lie is a stone. It sits in my chest. It is heavy. It is cold. I cannot throw it. I cannot drop it. I am tied to it. I am tied to the house.

I stand up. My legs shake. I walk to the window. The glass is cold. My breath fogs it. I wipe it away. I see the yard. The grass is dead. The trees are black. There is no sun. There is no day. There is only the dark. The dark is inside me. The dark is outside me. It is the same dark. I am part of it. I am a piece of it.

I walk to the study. The door is open. It has always been open. I never closed it. I never wanted to close it. The desk is there. The chair is there. The papers are there. They are white. They are blank. They are waiting. I sit down. The chair creaks. I put my hands on the desk. The wood is smooth. It is warm. It is alive. I feel a pulse. It is my pulse. It is the house’s pulse. We are one. I am the prisoner. I am the jailer. I am the key.

I look at the mirror on the wall. It is old. It is cracked. A spiderweb runs across it. I look at my eyes. They are red. They are wet. I am not crying. I am not sad. I am empty. I am hollow. I am a shell. The shell is full of noise. The noise is my name. I say it. I say it loud. I say it soft. I say it to the walls. The walls do not answer. The walls listen. The walls judge. The walls remember.

I remember the night. It was long. It was short. I was angry. I was drunk. I was broken. I hit the table. I hit the wall. I hit the glass. The glass broke. The key fell. I saw it. I did not pick it up. I let it fall. I let it hide. I let it rot. I let it wait. I wanted it to wait. I wanted to be punished. I wanted to be trapped. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be free. I did not know the difference. I did not know the cost.

The cost is this. The cost is the silence. The silence is loud. The silence is sharp. It cuts me. It peels me. It takes me. I am gone. I am not here. I am in the mirror. I am in the wall. I am in the floor. I am in the air. I am everywhere. I am nowhere.

I stand up. I walk to the door. I try the handle. It does not move. I pull. It does not move. I push. It does not move. I kick it. It does not move. I hit it. It does not move. I scream. It does not hear. I am the noise. I am the echo. I am the shadow. I am the ghost. I am the demon. I am the savior. I am the liar. I am the truth.

I sit back down. I close my eyes. I count my breaths. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. I count the seconds. I count the minutes. I count the hours. I count the days. I count the years. Time is a river. I am a stone. The river flows. I do not move. The river takes the stone. The river leaves the stone. The river is the house. The house is the time. The time is me.

I open my eyes. The mirror is watching. The mirror is smiling. I am smiling. I do not want to smile. I want to scream. I want to break. I want to end. I do not end. I continue. I endure. I survive. I exist. I am.

I look at the desk. The papers are white. I pick up a pen. The pen is black. I write. I write my name. I write the date. I write the truth. I write the lie. I write the key. I write the door. I write the wall. I write the glass. I write the blood. I write the tear. I write the fear. I write the love. I write the hate. I write the end.

I stop. I look at the words. They are small. They are weak. They are nothing. They are everything. I am them. They are me. I am the words. The words are me. I am the story. The story is me. I am the reader. The reader is me. I am the author. The author is me. I am the character. The character is me.

I stand up. I walk to the door. I try the handle. It moves. It is unlocked. I did not unlock it. I did not touch it. It is unlocked. I am free. I am not free. I am the key. I am the lock. I am the door. I am the house. I am the dark. I am the light.

I open the door. The night is there. The wind is there. The cold is there. I step out. I do not look back. I do not look forward. I look down. I look at my feet. They are bare. They are dirty. They are mine. I walk. I walk into the dark. I walk into the light. I walk into the end. I walk into the beginning. I walk into the now.

I am here. I am there. I am everywhere. I am nowhere. I am the house. The house is me. I am the key. The key is me. I am the lock. The lock is me. I am the door. The door is me. I am the prisoner. The prisoner is me. I am the jailer. The jailer is me. I am the victim. The victim is me. I am the monster. The monster is me. I am the angel. The angel is me. I am the human. The human is me.

I am alone. I am not alone. I am with myself. I am with the house. I am with the dark. I am with the light. I am with the truth. I am with the lie. I am with the past. I am with the future. I am with the present. I am with the moment. I am with the breath. I am with the heart. I am with the soul. I am with the body. I am with the mind. I am with the spirit. I am with the ghost. I am with the demon. I am with the god. I am with the devil.

I am nothing. I am everything. I am the end. I am the beginning. I am the middle. I am the space. I am the silence. I am the noise. I am the color. I am the shape. I am the form. I am the void. I am the full. I am the empty. I am the filled. I am the lost. I am the found. I am the broken. I am the mended. I am the shattered. I am the whole.

I walk. I walk. I walk. I do not stop. I do not rest. I do not sleep. I do not die. I do not live. I am. I am. I am.

The house is behind me. It is still. It is silent. It is waiting. It is watching. It is judging. It is loving. It is hating. It is remembering. It is forgetting. It is the mirror. I am the reflection. The reflection is fading. The mirror is cracking. The glass is falling. The shards are shining. The shards are cutting. The blood is flowing. The blood is red. The blood is warm. The blood is life. The blood is death. The blood is me.

I do not look back. I do not turn around. I do not check. I do not care. I am gone. I am here. I am the end. The end is here. The end is now. The end is me.