You are walking the road again, not because the path is pleasant or the air is kind, but because the walking is the only thing that keeps your heart from bursting out of your chest and landing in the mud like a dead bird, which is what everyone in the village says will happen to you, they say you are a ghost, a spirit who forgot how to die, a creature of bad omens who haunts the lanes between the manor houses, and you let them say it, you do not correct them, you do not raise your hand to shield your face from the rain that feels like a thousand cold fingers tapping on your skin, you just keep your eyes on the cobblestones, which are slick with moss and the memory of hooves, and you count the steps, one for the year you married him, two for the year the fever took him, three for the year you gave birth to a son who looked so much like him that you had to leave the nursery for three days because you could not bear to see his face, four for the year they burned the fields, five for the year you were exiled, and you have been counting for so long that the numbers have blurred into a single, endless rhythm, a drumbeat that lives in your bones, a song that has no end, only a pause, a breath held in the throat of the world, waiting to be released, but it never is, because the next step is already coming, and the next, and the next, an infinite regression of footfalls that echo against the stone walls of the houses that line the street, houses that are old, their timber frames blackened by centuries of smoke, their windows like eyes that have seen too much and now merely reflect the gray sky, a sky that is low and heavy, pressing down on the thatched roofs, threatening to crush the people inside, but they do not leave, they never leave, they sit by their hearths, stirring their porridge, watching the smoke rise, and they wait for you to pass, for the ghost to drift by, for the curse to be lifted by the simple act of your movement, your existence, your refusal to disappear, which is the only thing that keeps you alive, the only thing that makes you more than a memory, more than a stain on the cloth of history, and you walk, you walk until your feet bleed, until the blood mixes with the mud and leaves a trail of red behind you, a trail that the dogs follow, a trail that the children point to, a trail that the old men shake their heads at, and you do not stop, you cannot stop, because if you stop, you will have to think, and if you think, you will have to remember, and if you remember, you will have to feel, and if you feel, you will break, you will shatter into a thousand pieces, like the mirror in the attic, the mirror that hung above the dressing table where he used to brush his hair, the mirror that you smashed with a brick when you found out he was gone, not just gone in the way that the dead are gone, but gone in the way that the forgotten are gone, erased, wiped clean from the record, as if he had never been, as if you had never been, as if the love that lived between you was a lie, a trick of the light, a shadow that moved when the sun moved, and you smashed the mirror because you wanted to see yourself, really see yourself, to find the piece of him that was in you, the piece that had been polished by his gaze, the piece that was his, and when the glass fell, it did not just break the mirror, it broke you, it broke the world, it broke the silence that had grown around you, a silence so thick you could cut it with a knife, a silence that smelled of dust and old paper, of dried lavender and rotting wood, and you stood there, in the room that was no longer a room but a tomb, a mausoleum of the living, and you looked at the shards on the floor, and you saw your face, reflected in a dozen different ways, a dozen different pieces of you, a dozen different ghosts, a dozen different lives you could have lived, a dozen different roads you could have taken, and you picked up the largest piece, the one that was sharp enough to cut your palm, and you held it up to the light, and you saw your own eye, your own pupil, dilated with shock, with grief, with a rage so pure it was almost holy, and you thought, this is what I am, this is what I have become, a shard, a fragment, a broken thing, a thing that cannot be put back together, a thing that can only be swept away, a thing that can only be discarded, and you dropped the glass, and it clattered on the floor, a sound like a small bell, a sound like a warning, a sound like the end of something, and you walked out of the house, and you did not look back, and you have not looked back since, not once, not even in your dreams, not even in the moments when the wind blows through the trees and sounds like his voice, not even in the moments when the moon rises over the hills and looks like the eye of a god, watching, waiting, judging, and you walk, you walk through the village, past the bakery where the smell of bread is sweet and heavy, past the church where the bells ring for the hour, past the square where the market is set up, past the well where the women draw water, and they all look at you, they all see you, they all know who you are, they all know what you are, a ghost, a curse, a mistake, a sin, a thing that should not be, and they cross themselves, they spit on the ground, they whisper their prayers, and you walk on, you walk on, your feet bare, your hands empty, your heart full, full of a pain that has no name, a pain that has no end, a pain that is the price of love, the price of loss, the price of truth, the price of being seen, and you walk until you reach the edge of the village, until you reach the forest, the dark, dense forest that swallows the light, that swallows the sound, that swallows the self, and you enter, you step into the shadows, you step into the unknown, you step into the place where the rules of the world do not apply, where the laws of man are forgotten, where the only law is the law of the heart, the law of the blood, the law of the bone, and you walk, you walk, and the trees close in around you, and the branches reach out like hands, like fingers, like claws, and you do not pull away, you do not push them aside, you let them touch you, you let them hold you, you let them take you, and you walk, you walk, and the ground softens under your feet, and the air grows thick, and the silence grows deep, and you feel something, something that has been waiting for you, something that has been calling to you, something that is not a ghost, but is a ghost, something that is not a memory, but is a memory, something that is not a life, but is a life, and you stop, you stop walking, you stop breathing, you stop thinking, and you listen, and you hear it, you hear the sound of a heart, a heart that is not yours, a heart that is not his, a heart that is both, a heart that is the space between, a heart that is the bridge, a heart that is the door, and you open it, you open the door, and you step through, and you are gone, and you are here, and you are everywhere, and you are nowhere, and you are free, and you are bound, and you are loved, and you are lost, and you are found, and you are forgotten, and you are remembered, and you are dead, and you are alive, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the tree, and you are the stone, and you are the water, and you are the wind, and you are the rain, and you are the snow, and you are the sun, and you are the moon, and you are the star, and you are the sky, and you are the earth, and you are the sea, and you are the fire, and you are the ash, and you are the dust, and you are the light, and you are the dark, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the beginning, and you are the end, and you are the middle, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the self, and you are the other, and you are the same, and you are the different, and you are the old, and you are the new, and you are the past, and you are the present, and you are the future, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the always, and you are the sometimes, and you are the often, and you are the rarely, and you are the once, and you are the twice, and you are the thrice, and you are the four, and you are the five, and you are the six, and you are the seven, and you are the eight, and you are the nine, and you are the ten, and you are the hundred, and you are the thousand, and you are the million, and you are the billion, and you are the trillion, and you are the infinite, and you are the finite, and you are the boundless, and you are the limited, and you are the free, and you are the captive, and you are the king, and you are the slave, and you are the master, and you are the servant, and you are the god, and you are the devil, and you are the angel, and you are the demon, and you are the saint, and you are the sinner, and you are the hero, and you are the villain, and you are the lover, and you are the hater, and you are the friend, and you are the enemy, and you are the brother, and you are the sister, and you are the father, and you are the mother, and you are the son, and you are the daughter, and you are the husband, and you are the wife, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the ghost, and you are the body, and you are the spirit, and you are the soul, and you are the mind, and you are the heart, and you are the eye, and you are the ear, and you are the nose, and you are the mouth, and you are the hand, and you are the foot, and you are the bone, and you are the blood, and you are the flesh, and you are the skin, and you are the hair, and you are the nail, and you are the tooth, and you are the tongue, and you are the throat, and you are the chest, and you are the back, and you are the belly, and you are the hip, and you are the leg, and you are the arm, and you are the shoulder, and you are the neck, and you are the head, and you are the face, and you are the eye, and you are the ear, and you are the nose, and you are the mouth, and you are the chin, and you are the cheek, and you are the forehead, and you are the temple, and you are the brow, and you are the lash, and you are the pupil, and you are the iris, and you are the sclera, and you are the cornea, and you are the retina, and you are the optic nerve, and you are the brain, and you are the skull, and you are the spine, and you are the rib, and you are the sternum, and you are the pelvis, and you are the femur, and you are the tibia, and you are the fibula, and you are the patella, and you are the calcaneus, and you are the metatarsals, and you are the phalanges, and you are the toes, and you are the heel, and you are the sole, and you are the arch, and you are the ball, and you are the big toe, and you are the second toe, and you are the third toe, and you are the fourth toe, and you are the fifth toe, and you are the foot, and you are the leg, and you are the knee, and you are the thigh, and you are the hip, and you are the pelvis, and you are the sacrum, and you are the coccyx, and you are the lumbar, and you are the thoracic, and you are the cervical, and you are the atlas, and you are the axis, and you are the skull, and you are the face, and you are the eye, and you are the ear, and you are the nose, and you are the mouth, and you are the lip, and you are the tooth, and you are the tongue, and you are the palate, and you are the uvula, and you are the pharynx, and you are the esophagus, and you are the stomach, and you are the liver, and you are the gallbladder, and you are the pancreas, and you are the spleen, and you are the kidney, and you are the ureter, and you are the bladder, and you are the urethra, and you are the intestine, and you are the colon, and you are the rectum, and you are the anus, and you are the body, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the free, and you are the bound, and you are the loved, and you are the lost, and you are the found, and you are the forgotten, and you are the remembered, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the always, and you are the never, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the end, and you are the beginning, and you are the middle, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the free, and you are the bound, and you are the loved, and you are the lost, and you are the found, and you are the forgotten, and you are the remembered, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the always, and you are the never, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the end, and you are the beginning, and you are the middle, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the free, and you are the bound, and you are the loved, and you are the lost, and you are the found, and you are the forgotten, and you are the remembered, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the always, and you are the never, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the end, and you are the beginning, and you are the middle, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the free, and you are the bound, and you are the loved, and you are the lost, and you are the found, and you are the forgotten, and you are the remembered, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the always, and you are the never, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the end, and you are the beginning, and you are the middle, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the free, and you are the bound, and you are the loved, and you are the lost, and you are the found, and you are the forgotten, and you are the remembered, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the always, and you are the never, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the end, and you are the beginning, and you are the middle, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman, and you are the child, and you are the old, and you are the young, and you are the dead, and you are the living, and you are the free, and you are the bound, and you are the loved, and you are the lost, and you are the found, and you are the forgotten, and you are the remembered, and you are the one, and you are the many, and you are the all, and you are the nothing, and you are the everything, and you are the always, and you are the never, and you are the now, and you are the then, and you are the ever, and you are the never, and you are the end, and you are the beginning, and you are the middle, and you are the silence, and you are the sound, and you are the word, and you are the meaning, and you are the truth, and you are the lie, and you are the dream, and you are the waking, and you are the ghost, and you are the man, and you are the woman,