"You lied to me."

The voice was thin. It scraped against the damp air of the alley. It belonged to Tom. He was small. He stood by the rusted dumpster. His eyes were wet. They were wide.

"I didn't lie," I said.

My voice was steady. It was cold. It was the voice of a boy who knows things. I am twelve. I am tall for twelve. I have dirt under my nails. I have blood on my sleeve. It is not mine. Or maybe it is.

"Who told you?" Tom asked.

"Does it matter?"

"It does."

I stepped closer. The smell of rot hit me. It is sweet. It is thick. It tastes like copper in the back of my throat. This city is old. The bricks are black. The sky is grey. It never clears. It never dries.

"Mr. Vane," I said.

Tom flinched. He pulled his collar up. It was a thin jacket. It was too small.

"He knows," Tom whispered. "He says you stole from the vault. He says you are a thief. A rat."

I looked at him. I looked at his hands. They were trembling. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to shake him. I wanted to make him stop. But I did not move. I stood still. I was a statue. I was stone.

"I did not steal," I said.

"Then why are you here?"

I did not answer. I looked at the dumpster. Inside, there was a broken mirror. The glass was sharp. It reflected the alley. It reflected me. But the reflection was wrong. The face was twisted. The eyes were dead.

I have been here for three days. I sleep on the cardboard. I eat the scraps. I watch the shadows. I watch the men. They wear suits. They are grey. They are silent. They move like ghosts. Mr. Vane is the ghost. He owns the building. He owns the block. He owns the air.

He is not a man. He is a thing.

"Go home, Tom," I said.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"He will kill me. If he knows I talked to you. He will kill me."

I felt a spike in my chest. It was pain. It was fear. But I pushed it down. I buried it. I made it small. I made it quiet.

"You should have told me before," I said.

"I was afraid."

"I am afraid too."

Tom looked at me. He looked scared. He looked sad. He wanted to cry. But he did not. He is a tough boy. He is like me. We are the same. We are broken.

"I trust you," Tom said.

The words hit me. They were heavy. They were hard. They did not fit in my mouth. They did not fit in my mind.

Trust.

What is trust?

It is a lie. It is a trap. It is a knife.

I turned away. I walked to the wall. I pressed my back against the brick. It was cold. It bit into my skin. I closed my eyes. I saw the vault. I saw the gold. It was bright. It was yellow. It was beautiful. It was real.

I did not take the gold.

I took the key.

The key was small. It was brass. It was warm. It felt like a heart. It beat in my hand. It was the only thing I had. It was the only thing I wanted.

I gave it to Tom.

Why did I give it to Tom?

Because I love him.

Yes.

I love him.

It is a strange love. It is a dark love. It is a wrong love. But it is true. It is the only true thing in this city. I would burn the city for him. I would burn myself for him. I would burn the world.

But I am not a hero. I am not a saint. I am a boy. I am afraid. I am lonely. I am empty.

"Tom," I said.

He did not move. He was gone. He had run. He ran into the dark. He ran into the rain.

I stood alone.

The rain started. It was cold. It was wet. It soaked my clothes. It soaked my skin. It soaked my bones.

I looked at the mirror. The glass was cracked. The reflection was broken. The face was in pieces. The eyes were scattered. The mouth was torn.

I am broken.

I am in pieces.

I am not whole.

I have been lying to myself.

I told myself I was safe. I told myself I was free. I told myself I was strong.

I was wrong.

I am weak.

I am small.

I am nothing.

Mr. Vane is coming.

I can hear him.

His shoes click on the wet pavement.

Click.

Click.

Click.

He is close.

He is here.

He stands in the alley.

He is tall.

He is thin.

He wears a black coat.

He holds an umbrella.

He does not open it.

He lets the rain hit his face.

He looks at me.

His eyes are dark.

They are deep.

They are empty.

"You have the key," he says.

His voice is low.

It is soft.

It is sweet.

It is poison.

"Yes," I say.

"Where is it?"

I do not move.

I do not speak.

I look at the ground.

I look at the puddle.

I see my reflection.

It is small.

It is wet.

It is afraid.

"I gave it to him," I say.

Vane tilts his head.

He is confused.

He is angry.

"He?"

"Tom."

"Who is Tom?"

"A boy."

"A rat."

"Yes."

Vane steps forward.

The water splashes.

He is close.

He is too close.

I can smell his perfume.

It is cheap.

It is stale.

It is death.

"Did you trust him?" he asks.

I do not answer.

"Did you love him?" he asks.

I do not answer.

"Did you lie to him?" he asks.

I close my eyes.

I think of Tom.

I think of his face.

I think of his hands.

I think of his words.

I trust you.

I open my eyes.

"No," I say.

Vane smiles.

It is a thin smile.

It is a cold smile.

It is a cruel smile.

"Good," he says.

He pulls out a gun.

It is black.

It is small.

It is real.

He points it at my chest.

I do not flinch.

I do not blink.

I look at the barrel.

I look at the hole.

I see the dark.

I see the end.

I am ready.

I am done.

I am free.

But I am not.

I am afraid.

I am so afraid.

I want to live.

I want to see the sun.

I want to see the sky.

I want to see Tom.

I want to tell him the truth.

I want to say I am sorry.

I want to say I love you.

I want to say I am sorry.

"Shoot," I say.

Vane does not shoot.

He lowers the gun.

He looks at me.

He looks at the mirror.

He looks at the broken glass.

He sees the reflection.

He sees the pieces.

He sees the face.

He sees the eyes.

He sees the mouth.

He sees the truth.

He knows.

He knows I am not a thief.

He knows I am not a rat.

He knows I am a boy.

He knows I am afraid.

He knows I am alone.

He knows I am broken.

He knows I am him.

He is broken too.

He is alone too.

He is afraid too.

He is in pieces too.

He has no one.

He has no love.

He has no trust.

He has no hope.

He is empty.

He is me.

He is me.

He is me.

He drops the gun.

It hits the ground.

It makes a loud noise.

It is a gunshot.

It is a scream.

It is a cry.

It is a death.

Vane walks away.

He walks into the rain.

He walks into the dark.

He walks into the night.

He does not look back.

He does not speak.

He does not move.

He is a ghost.

He is a thing.

He is gone.

I stand in the alley.

I stand in the rain.

I stand in the cold.

I stand in the dark.

I am alone.

I am free.

I am broken.

I am whole.

I am not.

I am everything.

I am nothing.

I am Tom.

I am Vane.

I am the key.

I am the lock.

I am the door.

I am the room.

I am the city.

I am the rain.

I am the blood.

I am the fear.

I am the love.

I am the lie.

I am the truth.

I am the end.

I am the start.

I am the echo.

I am the sound.

I am the silence.

I am the gold.

I am the rust.

I am the glass.

I am the shard.

I am the cut.

I am the pain.

I am the life.

I am the death.

I am the boy.

I am the man.

I am the ghost.

I am the living.

I am the dead.

I am the one.

I am the other.

I am the self.

I am the other.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

I am the self.

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