The Wistful Incense
The old man looked at me with eyes like wet stones. He did not blink. He stood in the center of the hall, his hands hanging loose at his sides. The air was thick with dust and the scent of wet wool. I had come to return the silver. I had come to end it.
My name is Elias. I was born here, in this house, but I left before the winter. I left because the mirror was looking at me wrong. I have been gone for three years. I thought the distance would fix it. It did not. The mirror followed me. It sat in my small room in the city. It sat in the train. It sat in my sleep. I could feel its gaze. It was heavy. It was cold. I knew I had to come back. I knew I had to break it.
The old man was my father. Or he was the shape of my father. The house was old. The beams were dark wood. The floor was stone. There was no furniture. There was only the mirror. It stood on a stand of iron. It was tall. It was wide. It showed the room. It showed the dust. It showed me.
I walked forward. My boots made a sound on the stone. Click. Click. Click. The old man did not move. He did not speak. He just watched. I could see my own face in the glass. It was pale. It was tired. My eyes were red. I looked like a ghost. I looked like a thief. I reached into my coat. I pulled out the silver. It was a coin. It was old. It was warm from my hand. I held it up.
The old man’s head turned. He looked at the coin. He did not reach for it. He looked back at the mirror. I felt a pull in my chest. It was a pain. It was sharp. It was like a hook. I wanted to throw the coin. I wanted to smash the glass. I wanted to run. But I stood still. I watched him. He watched the glass. The glass watched me.
I remembered the day I left. I was young. I was strong. I believed in the law. I believed in the rules. I believed that if I worked hard, the world would be fair. I believed that justice was a thing you could buy. I was wrong. I was so wrong. The world is not fair. The world is a trap. The mirror is the trap. It shows you what you want to see. It shows you what you are afraid of. It shows you the truth, but it twists it. It makes it ugly. It makes it broken.
The old man moved. He was slow. He was stiff. He walked to the mirror. He put his hand on the frame. The iron was cold. I could see the frost forming on his fingers. He closed his eyes. He breathed in. He breathed out. The air in the room changed. It became still. It became heavy. I felt my own breath catch in my throat. I could not move. I could not speak. I was frozen.
I saw the memory. It was not my memory. It was the house’s memory. I saw the house when it was new. I saw the light. I saw the life. I saw the people. I saw the laughter. I saw the love. Then I saw the shadow. The shadow grew. It ate the light. It ate the sound. It ate the people. It left only the glass. It left only the silence. It left only the old man.
I realized then. I had not come to return the silver. I had come to join him. I had come to be part of the house. I had been running from the mirror for three years. But the mirror was inside me. It was in my blood. It was in my bone. I could not run. I could not hide. I had to face it. I had to break it.
The old man opened his eyes. He looked at me. He did not smile. He did not frown. He just looked. He nodded. It was a small nod. It was a permission. It was a goodbye. I stepped forward. I raised my hand. I held the silver coin tight. I could feel the edge of it cut into my palm. I swung my arm. I hit the glass.
There was a sound. It was not a crash. It was a sigh. It was a long, deep sigh. The glass did not shatter. It cracked. A web of white lines spread across the surface. It was beautiful. It was terrible. I hit it again. And again. And again. Each strike was harder. Each strike was faster. My arm was burning. My hand was bleeding. The silver coin fell to the floor. It rolled away. It disappeared into the dust.
The old man was still standing there. He was not watching me. He was watching the glass. As the cracks grew, his face changed. The lines on his face smoothed. The wrinkles faded. The gray in his hair turned black. His eyes became bright. He was young again. He was alive again. He looked at me. He was smiling. It was a sad smile. It was a kind smile.
The glass fell. It fell in pieces. It hit the stone floor. It made a sound like rain. The pieces scattered. They glinted in the dim light. The old man vanished. He was gone. He was dust. He was air. I was alone. I was standing in a room full of broken glass. I was standing in my own reflection.
I looked at the pieces. I saw my face in them. It was broken. It was fragmented. I saw my eyes in one piece. I saw my mouth in another. I saw my nose in a third. I was a puzzle. I was a mess. I was a lie. I picked up a piece. It was sharp. It cut my finger. A drop of blood fell. It hit the glass. The blood spread. It turned red. It looked like a flower. It looked like a heart.
I sat down on the floor. I put my head in my hands. I waited. I waited for the pain to stop. I waited for the fear to go. I waited for the silence to fill the room. The silence came. It was loud. It was deafening. It was the loudest thing I had ever heard. I heard my own heart beating. Thump. Thump. Thump. I heard my own breath. In. Out. In. Out. I heard the wind outside. It was howling. It was crying. It was angry.
I thought about justice. I thought about the coin. I thought about the rules. I thought about the lie. I had believed that if I punished myself, the world would be right. I had believed that if I broke the mirror, the truth would be set free. I was wrong. The truth is not free. The truth is trapped. The truth is in the glass. The truth is in the crack. The truth is in the blood.
I stood up. My legs were weak. My knees shook. I walked to the door. The door was heavy. I pushed it. It opened. The wind hit my face. It was cold. It was wet. It smelled of earth. It smelled of rain. I stepped out. The house was behind me. It was dark. It was silent. It was empty.
I walked into the night. The road was long. The road was dark. I could not see where I was going. I could not see where I had been. I could only see the next step. I took it. Then the next. Then the next. I did not look back. I did not look up. I did not look down. I looked forward. I looked at the road. I looked at the wind. I looked at the world.
The world was broken. The world was cracked. The world was a mirror. It showed me what I was. It showed me what I had done. It showed me what I had lost. It showed me what I had found. I had found myself. I had found my shadow. I had found my truth.
I walked for a long time. The sun rose. The light was gray. The light was pale. The light was thin. It did not warm me. It did not save me. It just was. I walked until the road ended. I walked until the city began. I walked until I was tired. I walked until I was empty.
I sat on a bench. I looked at my hand. The cut was healed. The blood was gone. The scar was red. It was fresh. It was new. I touched it. It hurt. It was real. I was real. I was here. I was alive.
I thought of the old man. I thought of the house. I thought of the glass. I thought of the coin. I thought of the lie. I had told myself that justice would come. I had told myself that the system would work. I had told myself that if I followed the rules, I would be safe. I was wrong. The system is a machine. The machine eats. The machine does not care. The machine does not feel. The machine does not love.
But I did. I loved. I loved the old man. I loved the house. I loved the mirror. I loved the pain. I loved the fear. I loved the truth. It was a terrible love. It was a deep love. It was a dark love. It was the only love I had.
I stood up. I wiped my face. I straightened my coat. I walked into the city. The people were walking. The cars were moving. The noise was loud. The life was fast. I was slow. I was quiet. I was still. I was a ghost in the machine. I was a crack in the glass. I was a drop of blood in the stream.
I did not look for the mirror. I did not look for the old man. I did not look for the coin. I did not look for the truth. I looked at the day. I looked at the world. I looked at myself. I accepted it. I accepted the break. I accepted the pain. I accepted the loss.
I walked on. The wind was cold. The sky was gray. The road was long. I was alone. I was free. I was broken. I was whole.
The story ends. The silence remains. The dust settles. The glass is gone. The old man is gone. I am here. I am here. I am here.
The justice did not come. The justice was a lie. The justice was a mirror. It showed me my own face. It showed me my own sin. It showed me my own freedom. I was free to be broken. I was free to be alone. I was free to be me.
I closed my eyes. I felt the wind. I felt the cold. I felt the pain. I felt the life. I was alive. I was here. I was real.
The end.
- Art
- Causes
- Crafts
- Dance
- Drinks
- Film
- Fitness
- Food
- Spellen
- Gardening
- Health
- Home
- Literature
- Music
- Networking
- Other
- Party
- Religion
- Shopping
- Sports
- Theater
- Wellness