You write this down because the ink dries faster than the blood. The kitchen table is oak. It is scarred. You have cut into it with a knife that is not yours. You are a soldier. You are in the palace. The palace is not a house. It is a cage of gold. You wear the uniform. It is tight. It bites. You look in the mirror. You do not see yourself. You see the boy who left. He is gone. He is here.

The food is on the plate. It is meat. It is pale. It looks like ash. You do not eat. You watch it. It changes. You watch the color fade. You watch the texture soften. It becomes something else. It becomes memory. You remember the farm. You remember the rain. You remember your brother. He is dead. He is alive. He is in the meat. He is in the air.

Your sister is dead. She was your anchor. She held you down. She held you up. She is gone. You are loose. You are drifting. The court is full of faces. They smile. They lie. They want your sword. They want your mind. You give them neither. You give them the letter. You write the letter. You send it away.

The king calls you. He is old. He is sick. He smells of rot. He sits on the throne. The throne is cold. You kneel. Your knees hurt. The pain is good. The pain is real. He speaks. His voice is thin. He asks for the secret. He asks for the power. You have it. You have the truth. The truth is small. The truth is quiet.

You stand up. You do not speak. You look at the floor. The floor is marble. It is white. It is clean. You think of mud. You think of dirt. You think of home. Home is far. Home is gone. You are here. You are trapped. The mirror is behind you. You see your reflection. It moves. It does not move with you. It stays. It watches. It knows.

The guard steps forward. His hand is on the hilt. He is young. He looks afraid. You do not look at him. You look at the meat. The meat is gone. The plate is empty. There is only a stain. The stain is red. The stain is old. It will not wash out. It is part of the wood. It is part of you.

You turn to the king. You smile. It is not a happy smile. It is a sharp smile. It is a blade. You speak. Your voice is low. Your voice is steady.

"I have the answer," you say.

The king leans forward. His eyes are bright. His eyes are hungry. "Tell me," he says.

You shake your head. You step back. You take a step toward the door. The guard blocks the path. He raises his hand. A warning. A threat. You stop. You look at him. You see your brother in his face. You see the fear. You see the love. It is a terrible thing. To see what you loved in the face of what you must kill.

"I cannot tell you," you say. "It is not for you."

The king’s face changes. The hunger turns to anger. The anger turns to cold. "You are a traitor," he says. "You are a fool."

You do not answer. You look at the meat stain. You remember the taste. It was bitter. It was sweet. It was life. It was death. You close your eyes. You open them. The world is clear. The world is sharp.

You draw your knife. It is small. It is dull. It is yours. You cut your hand. The blood flows. It is dark. It is warm. You press your hand to the table. You press it to the stain. You mix the blood with the old stain. You make a mark. You make a sign.

The guard lunges. You do not run. You stand still. You wait. The blade comes. You do not see it. You feel it. It is cold. It is wet. You fall. The table is hard. The table is soft. You are on the floor. You are in the dust.

You look up. The king is standing. He is shouting. The guard is breathing hard. The air is still. The light is high. The light is low. You see the mirror. The mirror is broken. A crack runs through the glass. A line. A path. You see your reflection. It is not you. It is the boy. The boy is gone. The boy is free.

You write the letter. You do not have time. You do not have hands. You write with your mind. You write with your blood. The words are simple. The words are true.

I was wrong. I was afraid. I tried to conquer the mirror. I tried to break the glass. I was the glass. I was the crack. I was the fall. I am the stain. I am the meat. I am the ash. I am the fire. I am the rain. I am the farm. I am the brother. I am the sister. I am the loop. I am the circle. I am the start. I am the end. I am the middle. I am nothing. I am everything.

The ink dries. The blood dries. The light fades. The silence comes. The silence is loud. The silence is deep. The silence is full.

You are in the dark. You are in the light. You are in the space between. You are in the breath. You are in the pause. You are in the turn. You are in the change. You are in the transformation. You are the food. You are the drug. You are the poison. You are the cure. You are the hunger. You are the fullness. You are the void. You are the full. You are the one. You are the many. You are the self. You are the other. You are the same. You are different. You are the same.

The guard looks down. He sees the blood. He sees the knife. He sees the letter. He picks it up. He reads it. He does not understand. He feels a chill. He feels a pull. He feels a connection. He feels a kinship. He looks at the body. He looks at the face. He sees his brother. He sees his sister. He sees himself. He drops the letter. He steps back. He shakes his head. He cannot stop. He cannot let go. He is caught. He is bound. He is tied. He is chained. He is in the loop.

The king sits down. He is tired. He is old. He is tired of waiting. He is tired of wanting. He is tired of being. He closes his eyes. He sleeps. The dream comes. The dream is red. The dream is black. The dream is white. The dream is you. The dream is him. The dream is us. The dream is all.

The palace stands. The walls are high. The windows are tall. The light comes in. The light goes out. The day ends. The night begins. The cycle turns. The wheel spins. The stone grinds. The grain flows. The water runs. The fire burns. The smoke rises. The ash falls. The earth takes. The earth holds. The earth waits. The earth remembers.

You are there. You are here. You are now. You are then. You are before. You are after. You are inside. You are outside. You are above. You are below. You are within. You are without. You are in. You are out. You are in.

The letter remains on the floor. The ink is dry. The words are clear. The words are simple. The words are true. The truth is small. The truth is quiet. The truth is heavy. The truth is light. The truth is here. The truth is gone. The truth is waiting. The truth is coming. The truth is you. The truth is me. The truth is we. The truth is it. The truth is all. The truth is nothing. The truth is everything.

You close the book. You open the book. The pages turn. The words flow. The story ends. The story begins. The story continues. The story never stops. The story never starts. The story is. The story was. The story will be. The story is now. The story is always. The story is forever. The story is here. The story is you. The story is me. The story is us. The story is it. The story is all. The story is nothing. The story is everything.

You breathe in. You breathe out. The air is cold. The air is warm. The air is still. The air is moving. The air is life. The air is death. The air is change. The air is time. The air is space. The air is mind. The air is body. The air is soul. The air is spirit. The air is ghost. The air is shadow. The air is light. The air is dark. The air is sound. The air is silence. The air is word. The air is deed. The air is fate. The air is choice. The air is will. The air is desire. The air is love. The air is hate. The air is fear. The air is hope. The air is faith. The air is doubt. The air is truth. The air is lie. The air is real. The air is false. The air is good. The air is bad. The air is right. The air is wrong. The air is yes. The air is no. The air is maybe. The air is perhaps. The air is likely. The air is unlikely. The air is certain. The air is uncertain. The air is known. The air is unknown. The air is seen. The air is unseen. The air is heard. The air is unheard. The air is felt. The air is unfelt. The air is touched. The air is untouched. The air is tasted. The air is untasted. The air is smelled. The air is unsmelled. The air is known. The air is unknown. The air is real. The air is unreal. The air is here. The air is there. The air is everywhere. The air is nowhere. The air is all. The air is nothing. The air is you. The air is me. The air is us. The air is it. The air is all. The air is nothing. The air is everything.

You stop. You are still. You are here. You are now. You are you. You are me. You are us. You are it. You are all. You are nothing. You are everything. You are the end. You are the start. You are the middle. You are the loop. You are the circle. You are the turn. You are the change. You are the transformation. You are the food. You are the drug. You are the meat. You are the ash. You are the fire. You are the rain. You are the farm. You are the brother. You are the sister. You are the soldier. You are the king. You are the guard. You are the mirror. You are the glass. You are the crack. You are the fall. You are the stain. You are the blood. You are the ink. You are the word. You are the letter. You are the book. You are the story. You are the truth. You are the lie. You are the real. You are the false. You are the good. You are the bad. You are the right. You are the wrong. You are the yes. You are the no. You are the maybe. You are the perhaps. You are the likely. You are the unlikely. You are the certain. You are the uncertain. You are the known. You are the unknown. You are the seen. You are the unseen. You are the heard. You are the unheard. You are the felt. You are the unfelt. You are the touched. You are the untouched. You are the tasted. You are the untasted. You are the smelled. You are the unsmelled. You are the known. You are the unknown. You are the real. You are the unreal. You are the here. You are the there. You are the everywhere. You are the nowhere. You are the all. You are the nothing. You are the everything.

You are the end.