The Wistful Atlas
The map was wrong.
It had been wrong for thirty years.
Brother Thomas sat in the high chair of the scriptorium. The room smelled of dust and dried oak. It smelled of time rotting. Outside, the bells of the cathedral tolled noon. They tolled for the dead. They tolled for the living. It made no difference.
He looked at the parchment. It was thin. It was brown. It was soft from handling. His hands were dry. His fingers were long. They were stained with ink. The ink was black. The ink was permanent.
The map showed the coast. It showed the river. It showed the village of Saint Jude. It showed the road to the capital. It was a map of the Kingdom. It was a map of the world, as the King understood it.
It was a lie.
Thomas knew this. He had known it since he was a boy. He had seen the coast. He had walked the riverbank. He had traveled the road. The map did not match the land. The coast was further north. The river bent south. The road was blocked by stone.
He did not speak. He had not spoken in years. Speech was dangerous. Speech was a tool. Tools could be taken. Tools could be broken.
The door opened.
Footsteps echoed on the stone floor. Heavy boots. Iron on iron.
King Aldric entered.
He was old. His face was red. His eyes were wet. He wore a cloak of grey wool. He carried a staff of iron. He walked slowly. He looked at Thomas. He looked at the map.
"Brother," the King said.
Thomas bowed his head. He did not look up.
"The war is coming," Aldric said. "The northern lords march. They bring fire. They bring steel. They bring death."
Thomas waited.
"We need the map," Aldric said. "We need to know where the enemy will come. We need to know where to send our men. We need to save the realm."
Thomas looked at the map. He looked at the lie. He looked at the King.
"I have the map," Thomas said. His voice was low. It was rough. It had not been used.
Aldric nodded. He sat down. The chair creaked. The chair was heavy. The chair was made of oak.
"Show me," Aldric said.
Thomas rolled the parchment. He unrolled it. He smoothed it with his hands. He pointed to the coast. He pointed to the river. He pointed to the road.
"Here," Thomas said. "The enemy will come from here. They will follow the river. They will cross here."
Aldric looked at the map. He frowned. He looked at Thomas.
"That is not the road," Aldric said. "The road is south. The river bends north. You are wrong."
Thomas did not move. He did not blink.
"The map is the truth," Thomas said. "The map is the law."
Aldric laughed. It was a dry sound. It was a cold sound.
"You are a fool," Aldric said. "You are an old fool. You sit in this room. You draw lines. You ignore the world. You ignore the people. You ignore the pain."
Thomas looked at the King. He looked into his eyes. He saw the fear. He saw the hunger. He saw the need.
"I know," Thomas said.
Aldric stood up. He leaned forward. He put his hand on the map. His hand was large. His hand was red.
"I will not follow your lies," Aldric said. "I will send my men south. I will guard the road. I will protect the people. I will not follow a dead man’s dream."
Thomas watched him. He watched the King’s hand. He watched the ink on the parchment. The King’s hand trembled.
"You will die," Thomas said.
Aldric straightened up. He wiped his mouth. He looked at the door.
"Perhaps," Aldric said. "But I will die on my feet. I will die as a king. I will not die as a servant of a piece of skin."
He left.
The door closed.
The room was silent.
The dust settled.
Thomas sat alone.
He looked at the map.
He looked at the lie.
He looked at his hands.
He thought of Elara.
She was his wife.
She was dead.
She had died in the winter. The fire had been low. The coal had run out. The cold had come in. The cold had taken her.
He had been there. He had held her. He had watched her breathe. He had watched her stop.
He had not cried.
He had not spoken.
He had drawn a line on a piece of parchment.
He had drawn the coast.
He had drawn the river.
He had drawn the road.
He had drawn the world.
He had made the world safe.
He had made the world true.
Or so he told himself.
He picked up the quill.
The quill was stiff. The ink was black.
He looked at the map.
He looked at the coast.
He looked at the river.
He looked at the road.
He began to draw.
He drew a line.
He erased the line.
He drew a line.
He erased the line.
He drew a line.
He erased the line.
His hand shook.
His breath was short.
His heart was slow.
He was old.
He was tired.
He was alone.
The door opened again.
It was not Aldric.
It was a boy.
The boy was young. He was small. He wore a tunic of brown. He carried a basket. The basket was full of bread. The basket was full of cheese.
"Brother," the boy said. "The King sent me. He says you have eaten nothing. He says you are weak. He says you are sick."
Thomas looked at the boy. He looked at the basket.
"Tell the King," Thomas said. "I am not sick. I am not weak. I am not hungry."
The boy frowned. He looked at the door. He looked at the map.
"The King says," the boy said. "He says you are a traitor. He says you have lied to him. He says you have doomed the realm. He says he will burn the scriptorium. He says he will burn the map. He says he will burn you."
Thomas did not move.
He looked at the boy.
He looked at the map.
He looked at the quill.
He put the quill down.
He picked up the map.
He held it in his hands.
He felt the weight of it.
He felt the softness of it.
He felt the lie of it.
He looked at the boy.
"Tell the King," Thomas said. "Tell him the map is true. Tell him the coast is where I say it is. Tell him the river is where I say it is. Tell him the road is where I say it is. Tell him that if he goes south, he will die. Tell him that if he goes north, he will live."
The boy stared at him.
"You are mad," the boy said.
"Yes," Thomas said.
"Go," Thomas said.
The boy left.
The door closed.
The room was silent.
Thomas sat alone.
He looked at the map.
He looked at his hands.
He thought of Elara.
He thought of the cold.
He thought of the fire.
He thought of the lie.
He thought of the truth.
He thought of the King.
He thought of the war.
He thought of death.
He thought of life.
He picked up the knife.
The knife was small. The blade was sharp. The handle was wood.
He looked at the map.
He looked at the line.
He cut the line.
He cut the coast.
He cut the river.
He cut the road.
He tore the map.
He tore it in half.
He tore it in four.
He tore it in eight.
He tore it in sixteen.
He tore it in thirty-two.
The pieces fell.
The pieces lay on the floor.
The pieces were brown.
The pieces were soft.
The pieces were dead.
Thomas sat.
He breathed.
He waited.
The door opened.
Aldric entered.
He was angry.
He was red.
He was loud.
"Where is it?" Aldric shouted. "Where is the map?"
Thomas did not answer.
He looked at the floor.
He looked at the pieces.
He looked at the King.
"It is gone," Thomas said.
Aldric grabbed him.
He shook him.
He hit him.
He hit him again.
Thomas did not move.
Thomas did not flinch.
Thomas did not speak.
He looked at the King.
He saw the fear.
He saw the hunger.
He saw the need.
He saw the lie.
He saw the truth.
He smiled.
It was a small smile.
It was a sad smile.
It was a true smile.
Aldric stopped.
He looked at Thomas.
He looked at the floor.
He looked at the pieces.
He let go.
He fell to his knees.
He wept.
He wept for the war.
He wept for the death.
He wept for the lie.
He wept for the truth.
He wept for himself.
Thomas watched him.
He watched the King cry.
He watched the dust fall.
He watched the light fade.
He watched the end.
He did not feel triumph.
He did not feel victory.
He did not feel power.
He felt nothing.
He felt the cold.
He felt the silence.
He felt the peace.
The sun set.
The bells tolled.
The night came.
The darkness came.
Thomas sat in the dark.
He sat in the silence.
He sat in the truth.
He was the map.
He was the lie.
He was the land.
He was the void.
He was the end.
He was the beginning.
He was nothing.
He was everything.
He was still.
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