The Wistful Asylum

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The candle gutters. You are alone in the scriptorium. The air tastes of wax and old dust. Outside, the wind howls against the stone. It is winter. The year is 1348, or perhaps 1349. Time has lost its shape here. You are Edward Ashworth. You are a scholar. You are a man who believes in the order of things. Or so you tell yourself.

Your hands shake. You hold the quill. It feels heavy. It feels like a bone. You look at the parchment. The ink is dry. You have not written a word in three days. The silence is loud. It presses against your eardrums. You are afraid. You do not know what you are afraid of. You are afraid of the dark. You are afraid of the noise in the walls. You are afraid of what the Abbot says.

The Abbot is a large man. His face is pale. His eyes are cold. He stands in the doorway. He does not knock. He never knocks. He simply appears. He is a shadow in the lamplight. He looks at you. He looks at the quill. He looks at the blank page.

"You have not written," he says. His voice is soft. It is like sand on glass.

"I am thinking," you say. Your voice is thin. It breaks in the middle.

"Thinking is not enough," he says. "We need the words. We need the history. We need the truth."

He steps inside. He closes the door. The latch clicks. The sound is final. He walks to the center of the room. He stops. He looks at the window. The glass is dirty. You can barely see the night.

"The village is gone," he says.

You look up. "Gone?"

"Empty. The houses are dark. The fields are white. There is no one left."

You feel a chill. It is not from the cold. It is from the words. "The plague?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps something else. Something older. Something that lives in the soil."

He turns to you. His eyes are wet. But they do not cry. They are dry. They are hard. "You are the only one who can write it down. You are the only one who remembers. The others are gone. I am the only one left who can command you. But I am too old. My hands are too stiff. My mind is too tired."

He looks at you. He expects something. He expects fear. He expects defiance. He gets only silence. You are not afraid of him. You are afraid of the task. You are afraid of the blank page. You are afraid of what you will find when you look too closely.

"Write," he says.

"I will try," you say.

He nods. He walks to the door. He opens it. The wind rushes in. The candle flares. Then it dies. The room is dark. You are alone again.

You sit in the dark. You wait for your eyes to adjust. The shadows move. They look like people. They look like the villagers. They look like your mother. They look like your father. They are all gone. They are all in the ground. You are the last one. You are the witness.

You light the other candle. The flame is small. It is fragile. It is like your hope. It is like your sanity. You look at the parchment. You dip the quill. You touch the paper. You write.

*Day 1.*

The words are clumsy. They look like scratches. They look like wounds. You write about the village. You write about the houses. You write about the snow. You write about the silence. You write about the smell of rot. You write about the sound of the wind. You write about your fear. You write about the Abbot’s command.

You write until the candle burns down. You trim the wick. You continue. You write for hours. Your hand cramps. Your back aches. Your eyes burn. You do not stop. You cannot stop. If you stop, the silence will win. If you stop, the dark will win.

On the third day, you hear a noise. It comes from the walls. It is a scratching. It is a tapping. It is rhythmic. It is slow. You stop writing. You listen. The noise continues. It gets closer. It gets louder. It is inside the stone.

You stand up. You walk to the wall. You press your ear to it. You hear the tapping. You hear a whisper. It is not a word. It is a sound. It is a breath. It is a moan.

You pull back. You look at the Abbot’s portrait on the wall. His eyes follow you. He knows. He has always known. He is not a man. He is a vessel. He is a gate.

You look at your hands. They are stained with ink. The ink is black. It is like blood. You look at the parchment. The words are still there. But they have changed. The letters are moving. They are crawling. They are forming new shapes. They are forming a face. It is your face. It is distorted. It is screaming.

You drop the quill. It clatters on the floor. You back away. You hit the table. The inkwell spills. The black liquid spreads. It soaks into the wood. It soaks into your feet. It is cold. It is wet. It is alive.

The door opens. The Abbot is there. He is smiling. His smile is wide. It is too wide. It shows too many teeth.

"Did you hear it?" he asks.

"Yes," you say.

"Good," he says. "It is time to finish."

He walks past you. He goes to the window. He opens it. The wind rushes in. It howls. It screams. It sounds like a thousand voices. It sounds like the dead.

"Look," he says.

You look out. The snow is falling. It is thick. It is heavy. It covers everything. But it is not white. It is gray. It is black. It is made of ash. It is made of bone. It is made of hair.

You see the village. The houses are still there. But they are empty. There are no people. There are no animals. There is nothing. Just the ash. Just the wind. Just the silence.

And then you see them.

They are coming.

They are walking through the snow. They are wearing their old clothes. They are barefoot. They are bare-headed. Their faces are pale. Their eyes are black. They are not dead. They are not alive. They are something else. They are the forgotten. They are the erased. They are the truth.

They are walking toward the monastery. They are walking toward you.

You turn to the Abbot. "Who are they?" you ask.

"They are the ones we buried," he says. "They are the ones we silenced. They are the history we tried to burn. They are coming home."

You feel a surge of fear. But it is not fear of them. It is fear of yourself. You realize that you are not the witness. You are the accomplice. You wrote the lies. You hid the truth. You kept the secret. You are part of the machinery. You are part of the cage.

The Abbot looks at you. He sees it in your face. He sees the truth. He does not stop you. He does not help you. He simply watches. He is content. He has waited for this. He has waited for you to see.

The crowd reaches the door. They do not break it down. They do not throw stones. They simply walk in. They walk past you. They walk past the Abbot. They walk to the table. They look at the parchment.

One of them stops. It is a woman. She is old. Her hair is white. Her eyes are kind. She looks at you. She does not speak. She touches the parchment. Her fingers are cold. They are dry.

You look at her. You recognize her. She is Margaret. She was a teacher. She was a friend. She was buried in the cellar. You helped dig the grave. You did not tell anyone. You kept the secret.

She looks at you. She nods. She smiles. It is a sad smile. It is a forgiving smile.

The others gather around the table. They look at the words. They do not destroy them. They do not burn them. They simply look. They read. They remember.

The Abbot stands in the corner. He looks small. He looks fragile. He looks afraid. For the first time, you see that he is afraid. He is afraid of them. He is afraid of the truth. He is afraid of his own guilt.

He tries to run. He moves to the door. But the door is closed. The latch is locked. He bangs on it. He screams. His voice is high. It is shrill. It is pathetic.

The crowd does not move. They do not look at him. They are focused on the table. They are focused on the words. They are focused on you.

You stand up. Your legs are weak. Your knees buckle. You lean on the table. You look at the parchment. The words have stopped moving. They are still. They are clear. They are true.

You look at Margaret. She is still smiling. She is still looking at you. She is waiting.

You pick up the quill. Your hand does not shake. You dip it in the ink. The ink is black. It is wet. It is alive.

You write.

You write the name of the village. You write the names of the people. You write the date of the burial. You write the name of the Abbot. You write your own name. You write the truth.

The words flow. They are easy. They are natural. They are like water. They are like air. They are like life.

The Abbot stops banging on the door. He falls to his knees. He weeps. He sobs. He begs. He begs for mercy. He begs for forgiveness.

No one hears him. No one sees him. He is alone. He is in his own head. He is in his own guilt. He is in his own hell.

You finish the last word. You set the quill down. You look at the parchment. It is full. It is heavy. It is real.

The crowd begins to fade. They dissolve into the air. They dissolve into the light. They disappear. They are gone. They are free.

The room is empty. The Abbot is still on the floor. He is still weeping. He is still alone.

You look at him. You feel nothing. You feel no anger. You feel no hate. You feel only pity. You feel only sadness. He is a man who has lost his soul. He is a man who has lost his way. He is a man who will never be free.

You walk to the door. You open it. The wind rushes in. It is cold. It is clean. It is fresh.

You walk out. You walk down the stairs. You walk through the cloister. You walk through the gate.

The snow is still falling. It is white now. It is pure. It is clean.

You walk into the village. The houses are still there. But they are empty. There is no ash. There is no bone. There is no hair. There is only the snow. There is only the silence.

You walk to the center of the village. You stop. You look up. The sky is gray. It is heavy. It is endless.

You feel a pain in your chest. It is sharp. It is deep. It is real.

You know what you have done. You have freed them. You have freed yourself. But you have also condemned the Abbot. You have condemned the monastery. You have condemned the order.

You are a scholar. You are a man of knowledge. You know that justice is not a gift. It is a burden. It is a weight. It is a chain.

You look at your hands. They are clean. The ink is gone. Your skin is pale. Your veins are blue.

You feel the cold. It seeps into your bones. It numbs your flesh. It slows your heart.

You sit down on the ground. The snow covers your legs. It covers your hands. It covers your face.

You close your eyes. You think of Margaret. You think of the village. You think of the truth.

You are not alone. You are with them. You are with the dead. You are with the forgotten. You are with the truth.

The snow continues to fall. It covers you. It covers the world. It covers the past. It covers the future.

You are still. You are silent. You are free.

The wind howls. The snow falls. The story ends. The truth remains.

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