The Wistful Asylum

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The flatboat was gone before the last bell. Edward Ashworth stood at the river gate with his wife's paper held flat against his chest, and he watched the mist close over her like water over a stone. There had been an oar-stroke. He was sure of it. And then there had not been one.

"What did she give you?" asked Mr. Soames, the infirmarer, who had come up with his lantern and his wet old eyes.

"A letter," Edward said. "All I have that isn't threadbare."

"You'll read it tonight?"

"Not tonight. Tonight I'll miss her."

The river made its sound, a low clearing of the throat before a lie. Edward turned and walked up through the colonnade. The asylum had been a monastery, then a hospital for mutinous soldiers, then a refuge, then a court. The King held audience in the refectory. The condemned slept in the choir. Everything smelled of wax and wet stone and men who had given up.

The choir had been searched. His straw was scattered to the walls. Edward knelt slowly and gathered what he could, and under the pallet he found a page. Blank. White. It was torn from the asylum ledger, and nothing had been written on it, and that was the wrongest thing in the room. He put the blank page in his coat.

Boots came down the aisle. Purdy the warder had a face like a dropped key. "You're back, Captain."

"You aired my bed."

"I cured it of a paper."

The calm came, the kind he knew before violence or wit. "It's the only letter I ever got, Purdy. You'll tell me where it is."

"Sold it." Purdy shrugged. "Colonel Whitmore paid well."

"How well?"

"Well enough to buy a pass out of this place."

Edward sat on the pallet because his legs had gone thoughtful. "You'll never leave. An asylum keeps whatever it gets."

"I'll bring you the news," Purdy said. "The Colonel wants you before noon."

In the prior's old chamber, Whitmore sat behind a desk that had once held sacred books. Now it held the letter. Edward saw the fold, the crease, her hand, and he looked at it as a man looks at a wound he means to ignore.

"Do you know what this is, Ashworth?"

"My wife's prose."

"Forty names," Whitmore said. "The gate's friends. Yours is the first."

Edward laughed. The laugh surprised him. "She never knew forty people. She knew her mother and the cook."

"Sign the confession, and I will send her home."

Edward took up the pen. It was a heavy, strange pen, with a small blade built into the side of the nib, the kind old men use to break their own letters. He wrote carefully, because he liked his words better than Whitmore's. He wrote, "I confess I loved her, and that I would do it again. The water of the sluice was mine, by the order of a stronger hand." He signed it and pushed it back.

Whitmore read, and his lips went thin. "You mock me to my desk, Captain."

"I would mock you anywhere."

Whitmore smiled — a slow, storing smile. "She brought me the letter. At noon. She came to my gate and offered it. She asked for a pass. Her freedom for yours."

Edward said nothing. His chest was a room with all the doors off their hinges.

"She is in the north tower," Whitmore said. "She will hang at dawn unless you give me the names."

"I have no names."

"Then she hangs, and you hang, and the river will have you both."

"I believe in the river," Edward said, and he walked out with the pen still in his hand.

Soames found him in the infirmary among the jars. Edward sat with his back against the wet wall, turning the pen.

"Captain. You should not be here."

"I am never anywhere else."

Soames came close. His eyes were wet, and he believed in things, which made him dangerous. "The letter. Did you look at the margin?"

Edward looked. He had no answer.

"Eleanor came to me a month ago," Soames whispered. "She asked for a candle and the chancellery key. The chancellery, Captain. Where the King's seal is kept."

"She never wrote a thing in her life but blame."

"She wrote a seal," Soames said. "She drew it by heart at the foot of that page. Hold it to heat, and it will show."

"Hold it to heat." Edward's chest was a drum now. "I held it against my heart all night, and it showed me her."

"Then you held it wrong," Soames said, "or you did not want to see."

Edward stood. The pen was heavy in his hand. "I'll bring the page back. It missed me."

Whitmore kept the letter under the candelabrum on the prior's desk, because Whitmore loved witnesses. The asylum ruled by display, and Whitmore displayed his prizes. So Edward built a fire. A small fire in the dispensary, in a jar, the kind a careful man builds when he means to be elsewhere.

The alarm did not wait. The bell spoke, and Edward walked through the colonnade with the calm of a bell, and he went into the prior's chamber, and he lifted the letter from beneath the candelabrum.

"Captain." Purdy's voice, behind him. "You'll leave the page."

"Purdy. I've a pen to return."

"Leave the page, and I forget the fire."

Smoke was coming up the stairs now, gray and patient. Edward looked at the page in his hand. "You have one thing and I have another. She is in the tower?"

"She is."

"Then take me to her."

Purdy's face made its small sums. "I cannot open the tower. Whitmore keeps the key."

Edward held the page. The bell hammered on. He turned and ran toward the refectory, where the King sat beneath the wall of dark saints with his thin crown and his flat hands.

"Ashworth," the King said. "You opened the sluice."

It was not a question. There were no questions in these walls.

"I am the hand," Edward said. "But this seal is my pardon. Whitmore has taken the gate's names and made them treason. Let the heat decide."

The King made a sign. Edward stepped to the candle, and he held the page above the flame. The paper warmed. The paper browned. And at the foot, where she had pressed her fever and her whole heart, a signet rose through the fibers — the lion, the river, the crown. The King's own seal.

"By God," somebody said.

The King stood. He took the page from Edward's hand, and the page trembled in him, and he read the foot of it aloud. "The bearer is forgiven."

Edward waited. Soames stood behind him. The silence had edges.

"Is it Whitmore," the King said, "who holds my seal?"

"In the north tower," Edward said. "He holds my wife."

And then Whitmore entered, as he always did, after the news. He came in firelight, and the whole room turned because he was a man who drew light to himself. "Your Grace, the prisoner lies. The tower holds no one. The woman was never taken. She sold the letter for her own gate, and she is gone."

The guard wavered. The spear dipped.

Edward spoke then, because the pen was still in his hand and because wit was the only weapon the water had left him. "Then bring the pass she bought. You told me she was in the tower. Now you say she is nowhere. Which is the lie, Colonel? You are breeding lies this morning. They will crowd you out."

Whitmore drew steel. The refectory broke open. Men shouted, and the King did not shout — the King held the page and watched. Whitmore fled down the colonnade toward the wall, and beyond the wall the war had already come. The gate bell rang, and the enemy poured into the lower court, and the asylum's few faithful met them bare-handed.

Edward ran. Not for Whitmore. For the tower. But the tower was cold and empty. He climbed to the top room, and the room was a room, and no one had ever lain in that straw. He stood at the high window and looked down.

The gate below had opened. The enemy crowded the yard, and the faithful were being driven back, and the roof of the arsenal was burning. Edward understood the page in his hand. He had the seal. He had the King's heart. The faithful needed a sign, and the seal was the sign, and he was the hand that held it.

He went to the wall. He climbed the stair of the parapet where the bell hung, and he stepped into the smoke and the falling light. He held the page high. The seal faced the river wind — the lion, the river, the crown.

A shout went up. The faithful held. The enemy wavered.

Whitmore came up the far stair with a torch in his hand and his face in the shape of a final word. He threw. The torch turned through the air and crashed against the parapet, and the old tar of the roof caught, and the fire ran along the stone like a snake.

And the fire found the page.

It caught. A small saffron flame at the seal. Edward watched it. Then Whitmore fell — the guard had him, chains and blood — and no one looked, and the page burned.

Edward let it go.

The written talisman rose. It rose on the heat of its own burning, the seal curling black at the edges, the river beneath it, the smoke around it. It climbed over the courtyard, over the heads of the faithful and the enemy, a scrap of light with a lion in it, the last of the crown. It rose like a messenger who has finished his message. It burned and it ascended.

Eleanor was at the gate. She came running through the uproar, wet to the shoulders, her hair streaming river water. She had jumped from the flatboat before it reached the mist, and she had swum back to the wall, to the only bell she knew. She looked up, and she saw him, and she saw the sky where the fire had gone.

Edward came down the stair to meet her. The arrow stood in his side. He had not felt it. He felt her hands instead.

"You kept it," she said.

"I held it," Edward said. "All night."

"The seal. You made the seal show in the light." She was crying and laughing and streaming water. "It was all I had. I drew it from the chancellery ledger by heart. Forty nights. I drew it over and over until my hand knew it. I wrote our letter over it so no one would see. I meant it to save you."

"I know," he said. "The King knows. He read it. Bearer is forgiven."

"Then you are forgiven," Eleanor said. "Come inside. Soames is waiting."

"I'll come in a moment."

The smoke was in his lungs, and the arrow was in his side, and the crowd was shouting because the asylum held, because the King had shown himself, because Whitmore was a prisoner and the gate was won. Edward looked past her. The flatboat had drifted back empty against the reeds. The mist had burned to gold.

"I had a letter once," he said. "It sat against my chest all night, and I was afraid to read it, because I thought it was a goodbye. I thought you had left me. All night I held it, and I never knew it was a pardon."

"Know it now."

"I know." He leaned against the parapet. The river went below, broad and unhurried, the same water that had taken the sluice, the same water that had taken his men. The water asked for nothing and forgave everything. He was the hand that had opened the sluice. The order had been Whitmore's, but the water was his, and the men were his, and the night was his. He said, "Is it true that a man who saves an asylum gets a new name?"

"What name would you have?"

"Forgiven," Edward said.

And he let go.

She moved for him, but the fire was already gone, and the mist was done, and the river took its oar-stroke at last. The page, what was left of it, had risen into the gold and burned itself to nothing over the water. It had carried the lion and the river and the crown, and then it had carried only light.

Edward Ashworth did not come inside. He leaned against the stone with her hand in his, and below them the water went on, and the asylum held, and the seal of his pardon ascended, visible to no one, out of the smoke and into the long unanswering sky.

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