Cold Days

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The temperature was twenty below zero. Bob could feel it in his knuckles when he stepped outside to get the newspaper. He pulled his coat tighter around himself and walked the twelve steps from his porch to the mailbox, his boots crunching on the frost-covered grass.

The newspaper was wet. It was always wet. In Montana, winter did not mean snow. It meant ice—a thin, treacherous layer of frozen water that made everything slippery and grey and miserable.

Bob picked up the paper, folded it under his arm, and walked back to the house. The house was a single-wide trailer on the edge of a town that used to be a mining community and was now just a collection of closed stores and empty lots and people who had nowhere else to go.

Bob was forty-two years old. He had worked in a steel mill for eighteen years before it closed. He had two hands that used to be strong and were now stiff with arthritis. He had a divorce that had taken his son and his dog and most of his furniture. And he had a cupboard that contained mostly whiskey and very little else.

He sat down at his kitchen table and poured himself a cup of coffee that tasted like it had been brewed yesterday. He opened the newspaper and read the sports section and then folded it back up and set it down and stared at the wall.

The wall was beige. It had a water stain in the corner that looked like a map of Italy. Bob had been meaning to fix it for three years. He never did.

That afternoon, he found the snake on the frozen edge of the river.

It was lying on a patch of rock that had not iced over, its body stiff and motionless. Bob assumed it was dead. Montana winters killed everything that could not hide underground, and this snake had been foolish enough to be out in the open when the temperature dropped.

Bob crouched down and looked at it. The snake was green—pale green, almost grey in the winter light. It was about three feet long, which was small for a snake in Montana. Most snakes migrated south for the winter. This one had not.

"You're an idiot," Bob said to the snake.

He stood up and walked home. He made himself a sandwich. He drank a beer. He watched television until the batteries in the remote died.

And then, at around eight o'clock, he found himself walking back to the river.

He did not know why he went back. It was stupid. It was pointless. The snake was dead. There was nothing to be done. But Bob had spent the last six hours sitting in his trailer feeling the kind of loneliness that makes even pointless actions feel preferable to doing nothing at all.

The snake was still there. Still stiff. Still green.

Bob crouched down and picked it up. It was cold and heavy, like a piece of rope made of scales. He held it against his chest, inside his coat, and walked home.

He found an empty shoebox in his closet and lined it with an old towel. He placed the snake inside and set a heat lamp above it—a lamp he had used years ago to keep his son's room warm when the furnace broke. He plugged it in and watched the bulb glow orange.

The snake did not move.

"Alright," Bob said. "Stay warm. That's all I can do for you."

He went to the kitchen and poured himself a drink.

The snake survived.

Bob did not know exactly when it happened. He came home one morning and found the snake moving—slowly, stiffly, but moving. It had uncoiled itself from the rigid position it had held for days and was now stretching its body along the towel, basking in the heat of the lamp.

Bob watched it for a moment. Then he went to the pet store in town and bought a mouse.

He came home and placed the mouse in the box. The snake did not eat it. Bob removed the mouse and bought another the next day. The snake did not eat that one either. By the fourth day, Bob stopped buying mice. He decided the snake was going to die, and he did not want to waste money on something that was already dead.

But on the fifth day, the snake ate the mouse.

Bob watched it from the kitchen table, his coffee cup in his hands, feeling something he had not felt in a long time: the quiet satisfaction of watching something live because of something he had done.

After that, Bob bought mice regularly. Twice a week, he drove to the pet store in town—twenty minutes each way on roads that were more ice than asphalt—and came back with a bag of frozen mice that he thawed in his sink.

He named the snake nothing. He considered naming it, but naming implied a level of attachment that he was not ready for. The snake was just... there. A presence in his life. A reason to leave the house twice a week. A small, green thing that was alive because Bob remembered to buy mice.

They developed a routine.

Bob would wake up, drink coffee, read the newspaper, and stare at the wall. The snake would lie in its box under the heat lamp, occasionally moving, occasionally still. At noon, Bob would eat a sandwich. At two, he would watch television. At six, he would drink a beer. At nine, he would go to bed.

The snake was part of this routine. Not central, not important, but present. Like the water stain on the wall. Like the sound of the wind. Like the silence that filled the trailer when there was no television and no one to talk to.

Sometimes Bob talked to the snake. Not because he expected it to answer—he knew snakes could not talk—but because talking was better than not talking, and the snake was the only thing in the trailer that could not judge him for what he had said or what he had failed to say.

"You're just here to get through the days," Bob said one evening, sitting on the floor beside the snake's box. "So am I."

The snake did not answer. It lay on the towel, its green scales catching the orange light from the heat lamp, its dark eyes fixed on Bob with an expression that might have been attention or might have been nothing at all.

"Me neither," Bob said.

Winter passed.

The ice on the river melted. The grass turned green. The temperature climbed above freezing and then above fifty and then above seventy. Bob took off his coat. He opened the windows. The trailer smelled of dust and spring and the particular kind of hope that comes when the weather improves and you tell yourself maybe, just maybe, this year will be different.

The snake grew active. It spent more time moving around the box, exploring its edges, pressing its head against the mesh lid as if it could sense the world outside. Bob noticed this but did not open the box. He did not want the snake to escape. He told himself this was for the snake's benefit—the snake was not ready for the wild, it had spent the winter indoors, it would not survive on its own.

But the real reason was simpler: if the snake escaped, there would be nothing left. No reason to go to the pet store. No reason to come home. No small green thing that was alive because Bob remembered to buy mice.

Spring turned to early summer. The days got longer. The sun stayed up until ten at night, and Bob found himself sitting on his porch in the evenings, drinking beer and watching the sky turn pink and gold and then slowly fade to black.

One evening, at around seven o'clock, Bob opened the trailer door to throw away a beer bottle and found the snake's box empty.

He dropped the bottle. It shattered on the steps, and beer soaked into the wood.

He looked everywhere. Inside the trailer. Under the trailer. In the yard. In the river. He found the box on the other side of the yard, the lid off, the towel inside dry and empty.

The snake was gone.

Bob stood in the yard and looked at the empty box and felt something he could not name. It was not grief—not exactly. It was more like the absence of something he had stopped noticing but now realized had been there all along.

He went back inside and sat at his kitchen table and drank a beer and stared at the wall. The water stain in the corner looked like Italy. It had always looked like Italy. He had just never noticed before.

The next morning, Bob woke up and went through his routine. Coffee. Newspaper. Wall. Sandwich. Television. Beer. Bed.

But something was different. The trailer felt larger. The silence felt heavier. The absence of the small green thing in the box was a presence in itself—a presence that filled the space where the snake had been and made that space feel both emptier and more complete than it had been before.

Bob went to the pet store and did not buy mice. He drove home and sat on his porch and watched the sun go down and thought about the snake and the winter and the way something small and green and alive had existed in his life for four months and then was gone.

He did not cry. Bob did not cry. Crying was for people who had something to lose, and Bob had spent so long preparing himself to lose everything that when it finally happened, it felt almost expected.

Almost.

Summer passed. The grass turned brown. The temperature climbed into the nineties. Bob stopped opening the windows because there was nobody to talk to and the dust just made everything worse.

He kept the empty box in the corner of the trailer. He did not throw it away. He did not use it for anything. It just sat there, a reminder of the winter when a snake had lived in his house and he had bought it mice and they had gotten through the days together.

One evening in late August, Bob sat on his porch with a beer and watched the fireflies blink in the tall grass. The sky was dark and wide and full of stars, and the air smelled of dry earth and something he could not identify.

He thought about the snake. He wondered if it had made it to the river. If it had found food. If it had found another snake, or if it was alone like him, getting through the days in whatever way it could.

"Goodbye, kid," Bob said to the empty yard.

He finished his beer. He went inside. He sat at his kitchen table and stared at the wall. The water stain still looked like Italy.

Tomorrow, he would go to the store. He would buy groceries—bread, peanut butter, a bottle of whiskey. He would come home. He would sit at this table. He would drink this beer. He would stare at this wall.

The days would continue. They always did.

And that, Bob decided, was enough.

Not happy. Not fulfilled. Not redeemed.

But enough.


Based on the pending patent application document (202610351844.3), creationstamp.com has calculated the tensor feature encoding of this article:

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