The train coughed smoke into the grey sky. I stepped onto the platform. The air tasted of coal and damp wool. My brother was not there. I walked. The town of Oakhaven was small. It was old. The bricks were red and stained. The windows were dark. I carried a box. It was light. It contained only my father’s watch. And a letter. I was an outsider here. My skin was the wrong shade. My voice had the wrong accent. The people looked at me. They did not look at my face. They looked at my shoes. They looked at my hands. I was a stranger. I was a burden. I had come to work in the mills. I had come to pay the debt. I had come to find my brother. But he was gone. The town did not want me. The town was a machine. It ground things down. It made things smooth. It made things disappear. I walked to the inn. The door creaked. The landlady watched me. Her eyes were cold. She pointed to a room in the back. The room was small. It was dark. The bed was hard. I sat on the edge. I felt the weight of the box. I felt the weight of the silence. I was alone. I was safe. I was not welcome. I slept. I dreamed of the river. The river ran black. The river ran fast. I woke up. The sun was high. The light was sharp. I ate bread. I ate cheese. I drank water. I paid the woman. She did not speak. She took my money. She counted it. She gave me change. I walked out. The town was awake. The people moved. They moved fast. They moved in lines. They went to the mills. They went to the shops. They did not see me. Or they did not care. I walked to the mill. The mill was tall. It was ugly. It smelled of oil. The foreman was there. He was a large man. He had a face like a stone. He looked at me. He did not smile. He gave me a number. He gave me a hat. He told me to work. I worked. I worked hard. My back hurt. My hands bled. The machine was loud. The machine was angry. It did not stop. I did not stop. I was part of it. I was a gear. I was a part. I was nothing. The other workers watched me. They spat. They cursed. They called me names. They threw things at me. I did not stop. I could not stop. The foreman watched. The foreman nodded. The foreman was pleased. I was useful. I was cheap. I was obedient. I was perfect. My brother would have hated this. My brother would have fought. My brother would have burned the mill down. I did not fight. I did not burn. I endured. I swallowed the spit. I swallowed the curse. I swallowed the pain. I kept the box safe. I kept the watch safe. I kept the letter safe. I was hiding them. I was hiding them from the foreman. I was hiding them from the town. I was hiding them from myself. The days passed. The weeks passed. The months passed. The town did not change. The town was the same. The people were the same. The pain was the same. I was the same. I was different. I was breaking. I was breaking inside. I was breaking slowly. I was breaking quietly. No one heard. No one cared. I was a ghost. I was a shadow. I was a stain. I wanted to leave. I wanted to run. I wanted to scream. I could not. I was trapped. I was bound. I was chained. The chains were invisible. The chains were made of fear. The chains were made of shame. The chains were made of love. I loved my brother. I loved my father. I loved the memory of them. That love was a fire. That fire was eating me. That fire was consuming me. I was dying. I was dying by inches. I was dying by degrees. I was dying in silence. One day, the foreman called me. He wanted to see me. I went to his office. The office was warm. It smelled of tobacco. He sat behind the desk. He held a paper. He looked at me. He said nothing. He pointed to the paper. I looked at the paper. It was a list. It was a list of names. My name was on it. My brother’s name was on it. We were marked. We were flagged. We were targets. The foreman spoke. His voice was low. His voice was hard. He said we were spies. He said we were thieves. He said we were dangerous. He said we had to go. He said we had to go now. He said we had to go forever. I looked at him. I did not understand. I did not understand the words. I did not understand the reason. I did not understand the lie. I was not a spy. I was not a thief. I was not dangerous. I was just a worker. I was just a man. I was just a brother. I wanted to speak. I wanted to tell the truth. I wanted to show the watch. I wanted to show the letter. I wanted to prove who I was. I wanted to prove who we were. But I could not. I could not speak. My mouth was full of ash. My tongue was heavy. My throat was closed. I was afraid. I was afraid of him. I was afraid of the town. I was afraid of the machine. I was afraid of the end. I nodded. I nodded slowly. I nodded sadly. I nodded in defeat. I walked out. I walked to my room. I sat on the bed. I opened the box. I took out the watch. The watch was old. The watch was gold. It was my father’s. It was his last thing. It was his last word. I held it in my hand. I held it tight. I felt the metal. I felt the cold. I felt the weight. I thought of my father. I thought of my brother. I thought of the home we left. I thought of the life we lost. I was a fool. I was a coward. I was a liar. I had lied to myself. I had lied to them. I had lied to the world. I thought I was saving them. I thought I was protecting them. I thought I was keeping the memory alive. But I was not. I was destroying them. I was destroying us. I was destroying the truth. The truth was not in the watch. The truth was not in the letter. The truth was in the pain. The truth was in the silence. The truth was in the surrender. I closed the box. I put the watch back. I put the letter back. I put the box in the bag. I took the bag. I went to the door. I opened the door. The hallway was dark. The stairs were steep. I went down. I went out. The street was empty. The night was cold. The wind was sharp. I walked. I walked fast. I walked to the edge of town. I walked to the river. The river was black. The river was wide. The river was deep. I looked at the water. I looked at the box. I held the box in my hand. I held it over the water. I wanted to throw it. I wanted to let go. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be light. I wanted to be gone. But I could not. I could not let go. The love was too strong. The pain was too deep. The memory was too heavy. I was a slave to my past. I was a slave to my family. I was a slave to my guilt. I could not escape. I could not flee. I could not hide. I stood there. I stood still. I stood silent. The wind blew. The water moved. The night watched. I was alone. I was defeated. I was broken. I was free. I was not free. I was trapped. I was trapped in my own skin. I was trapped in my own mind. I was trapped in my own love. I turned around. I walked back. I walked to the mill. I walked to the foreman. I walked to the machine. I walked to the end. I walked into the dark. I walked into the night. I walked into the silence. I walked into the void. I walked into the nothing. I was gone. I was nothing. I was no one. I was a ghost. I was a shadow. I was a stain. I was a memory. I was a lie. I was a truth. I was a brother. I was a son. I was a man. I was a fool. I was a coward. I was a liar. I was a victim. I was a survivor. I was a sacrifice. I was a offering. I was a prayer. I was a hope. I was a dream. I was a nightmare. I was a story. I was a fable. I was a warning. I was a lesson. I was a mistake. I was a sin. I was a redemption. I was a damnation. I was a life. I was a death. I was a beginning. I was an end. I was a journey. I was a destination. I was a path. I was a road. I was a way. I was a direction. I was a compass. I was a map. I was a guide. I was a leader. I was a follower. I was a master. I was a slave. I was a king. I was a beggar. I was a hero. I was a villain. I was a saint. I was a sinner. I was an angel. I was a devil. I was a god. I was a demon. I was a man. I was a woman. I was a child. I was an old man. I was a youth. I was an age. I was a time. I was a space. I was a place. I was a moment. I was an eternity. I was a flash. I was a blink. I was a breath. I was a sigh. I was a cry. I was a shout. I was a whisper. I was a word. I was a sentence. I was a paragraph. I was a page. I was a book. I was a library. I was a world. I was a universe. I was a star. I was a planet. I was a moon. I was a sun. I was a light. I was a dark. I was a fire. I was a water. I was a earth. I was a air. I was a spirit. I was a soul. I was a body. I was a mind. I was a heart. I was a brain. I was a bone. I was a blood. I was a flesh. I was a skin. I was a hair. I was a nail. I was a tooth. I was a eye. I was a ear. I was a nose. I was a mouth. I was a tongue. I was a lip. I was a cheek. I was a chin. I was a forehead. I was a temple. I was a skull. I was a spine. I was a rib. I was a chest. I was a belly. I was a waist. I was a hip. I was a leg. I was a knee. I was a foot. I was a toe. I was a hand. I was a wrist. I was a elbow. I was a shoulder. I was a neck. I was a head. I was a face. I was a self. I was a other. I was a we. I was a they. I was a you. I was a me. I was a us. I was a them. I was a all. I was a none. I was a some. I was a few. I was a many. I was a one. I was a two. I was a three. I was a four. I was a five. I was a six. I was a seven. I was a eight. I was a nine. I was a ten. I was a hundred. I was a thousand. I was a million. I was a billion. I was a trillion. I was a infinity. I was a zero. I was a nothing. I was a everything. I was a something. I was a anything. I was a nothing.