I ran. My boots slammed against the wet stone. The air tasted of iron and rot. I was a soldier. I was a ghost. The walls pressed in. The corridor twisted. It was a loop. I knew it was a loop. I had seen this door before. The brass handle was green with age. I gripped it. I pulled. It did not move. I pushed. It did not move. I was trapped. I was always trapped.

My name was Thomas. I had forgotten it. I remembered the sound of my own breath. It was loud. It was a beast in my chest. I looked down at my hands. They were steady. They were clean. There was no blood. There was no mud. I was a man in a gray suit. I was not a soldier. I was a clerk. I was a ghost.

The light was dim. It came from a single bulb above. It flickered. It buzzed. The sound was high. It was a warning. I looked around. The room was small. The walls were bare. There was a table. There was a chair. There was a phone. The phone was black. It was an old model. It had a dial. It had a cord. The cord was coiled like a snake.

I reached for it. I hesitated. I did not want to make a sound. Sound brought attention. Attention brought pain. I picked up the receiver. The line was dead. I listened. I heard nothing. I heard my own heart. It beat fast. It beat hard. It was a drum. It was a hammer. I put the phone down. I backed away. My spine hit the wall. The wall was cold. It was damp. I could feel the moisture. It was like sweat. It was like tears.

I closed my eyes. I tried to remember. I tried to find the start. I could not find it. I only found the end. I saw a field. It was green. It was bright. I saw a man. He was young. He was smiling. He was holding a dog. The dog was brown. It was wagging its tail. The man was my friend. His name was Elias. I knew this. I knew it deep in my bones. I did not know why. I only knew it was true.

I opened my eyes. The room was the same. The bulb was still flickering. The phone was still silent. I was still alone. I was still trapped. I needed to get out. I had to find the way. I looked at the door again. It was solid. It was heavy. It was a prison. I was a prisoner. I was a fool.

I sat down on the floor. My legs gave out. I was tired. I was so tired. I had been running for hours. I had been running for days. I had been running for years. I did not know how long it had been. Time did not matter. Time was a lie. Time was a circle. I sat in the dark. I waited.

The door opened.

I flinched. I looked up. A man stood in the doorway. He was tall. He was thin. He wore a gray suit. It was the same suit I wore. He had a face. It was my face. It was older. It was sadder. It was empty. He looked at me. He did not speak. He just looked. His eyes were gray. They were dead.

I stood up. My legs shook. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I could not move. I was frozen. I was paralyzed. I was afraid. I was so afraid.

The man stepped in. He closed the door. The click was loud. It echoed. It rang in my ears. He walked toward me. He moved slowly. He moved gracefully. He was a predator. He was a shark. He was death.

He stopped in front of me. He looked down. He looked at my hands. He looked at my face. He looked at my eyes. He saw me. He knew me. He knew my name. He knew my shame. He knew my fear.

He raised his hand. He pointed at me. He pointed at the door. He pointed at the floor. He pointed at the air. He was telling me something. He was showing me something. I did not understand. I did not want to understand. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be gone.

He lowered his hand. He smiled. It was a small smile. It was a sad smile. It was a kind smile. It was a pitying smile. He turned his back to me. He walked to the table. He picked up the phone. He held it in his hand. He looked at it. He looked at me. He put it down.

He turned around. He looked at me again. He shook his head. It was a slow shake. It was a final shake. He was telling me no. He was telling me yes. He was telling me truth.

I realized then. I realized it all. I was not the prisoner. I was the jailer. I was not the victim. I was the villain. I was the one who had locked the door. I was the one who had cut the line. I was the one who had left Elias behind. I had left him in the field. I had left him in the mud. I had left him to die. I had run. I had run away. I had run from my guilt. I had run from my love. I had run from my self.

I looked at the man. He was me. He was the part of me that I had killed. He was the part of me that I had buried. He was the truth. He was the cost. He was the price.

I felt a pain. It was in my chest. It was sharp. It was hot. It was a knife. It was a fire. It was a flood. I felt it spread. It went to my arms. It went to my legs. It went to my head. It was a wave. It was a crash. It was a surrender.

I stopped fighting. I stopped resisting. I stopped running. I stopped hiding. I accepted it. I accepted the pain. I accepted the truth. I accepted the loss. I accepted the end.

The man walked away. He walked to the door. He opened it. The light came in. It was bright. It was white. It was blinding. It was beautiful. It was terrible.

He stepped out. He left the door open. He did not look back. He did not speak. He did not wait. He was gone. He was free. He was at peace.

I looked at the door. I looked at the light. I looked at the floor. I looked at my hands. They were shaking. They were bleeding. I did not know how. I did not know why. It did not matter.

I stood up. My legs were strong. My mind was clear. My heart was full. It was heavy. It was full of love. It was full of grief. It was full of life.

I walked to the door. I walked to the light. I walked to the end. I walked to the start. I walked to the middle. I walked to the truth.

I stepped out.

The air was cold. The air was fresh. The air was sweet. I was outside. I was in the field. It was green. It was bright. It was real.

I saw the man. He was lying on the grass. He was still. He was quiet. He was at peace. He was my friend. He was Elias. He was alive. He was dead. He was both.

I knelt down. I touched his face. His skin was cold. His skin was soft. His skin was real. I touched his hair. I touched his eyes. I touched his heart. It was still. It was done.

I looked around. The field was empty. There was no war. There was no blood. There was no fear. There was only grass. There was only sky. There was only silence.

I felt a tear. It fell on my cheek. It was hot. It was salty. It was real. I felt another. I felt many. They fell. They rolled. They mixed with the dirt. They mixed with the grass. They mixed with the world.

I did not wipe them. I did not stop them. I let them fall. I let them go. I let them be.

I looked at the sky. It was blue. It was vast. It was infinite. It was everything. It was nothing. It was me. It was him. It was us.

I stood up. I looked at the horizon. It was far. It was close. It was now. It was then. It was forever.

I took a breath. I held it. I released it. I took another. I held it. I released it.

I was free. I was not free. I was both. I was the loop. I was the break. I was the end. I was the start.

I walked away. I walked into the light. I walked into the dark. I walked into the truth. I walked into the life. I walked into the death. I walked into the love. I walked into the loss. I walked into the self. I walked into the other. I walked into the world.

I was Thomas. I was Elias. I was the soldier. I was the ghost. I was the man. I was the friend. I was the lover. I was the killer. I was the victim. I was the savior. I was the damned. I was the blessed. I was the whole. I was the part. I was the one. I was the many.

I was here. I was now. I was alive. I was dead. I was free.

The wind blew. The grass moved. The sun shone. The day began. The day ended. The day was the same. The day was new. The day was old. The day was now.

I walked. I did not stop. I did not look back. I did not look ahead. I looked at my feet. I looked at the ground. I looked at the path.

The path was clear. The path was open. The path was mine.

I walked.