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The Distant Ghost
The dream began with the sound of cracking ice.
Thomas stood on the shore of a black lake. The water was still. It was not water. It was glass. He looked down. He saw his own reflection. It was not his face. It was a mask. It was white. It was smooth. It had no eyes.
He woke.
The room was cold. The air smelled of dust and old paper. Thomas sat up. His head ached. A dull, heavy pain behind his eyes. He reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. His hand trembled. He drank. The water was cold. It tasted of metal.
He was seventy years old.
He was the Keeper of the Archive. The Royal Archive. It stood in the shadow of the palace. It was a building of stone and silence. It held the history of the kingdom. Every law. Every treaty. Every secret.
Thomas had worked there for forty years. He knew every shelf. He knew every book. He knew the smell of the old vellum. He knew the creak of the floorboards. He was part of the building. He was the building.
He dressed. He put on his coat. It was wool. It was gray. It was heavy. He walked to the door. He opened it. The hallway was dark. He walked down the stairs. The steps were stone. They were cold. He walked to the courtyard.
The courtyard was empty. The sky was gray. The wind was cold. It bit at his face. He walked to the gate. He unlocked it. The gate was iron. It was old. It groaned as it opened.
He walked into the city.
The city was waking up. Smoke rose from the chimneys. It mixed with the fog. The streets were wet. They were slick with rain. People walked. They did not look at him. They were busy. They were alive. They did not know about the Archive. They did not know about the past.
Thomas walked to the palace.
The palace was large. It was made of white stone. It looked like a ship. It sat on the hill. It looked down on the city. It watched. It judged.
Thomas entered the main hall. The floor was marble. It was polished to a mirror shine. He saw his reflection. It was small. It was old. He was tired.
He walked to the office of the Lord Chancellor.
The Chancellor was sitting at his desk. He was a large man. He was thick. He had a red face. He had small eyes. He was reading a letter.
Thomas stood in the doorway. He did not knock. The Chancellor looked up.
"You are late," the Chancellor said.
"I am old," Thomas said.
"You are not late enough to be fired," the Chancellor said. "But you are late enough to be annoyed. Sit."
Thomas sat. The chair was wooden. It was hard.
"What is it?" the Chancellor asked. "Why are you here?"
"I have a problem," Thomas said.
The Chancellor sighed. He took off his glasses. He rubbed his eyes. "What problem?"
"A book," Thomas said.
"Which book?"
"The one from the war," Thomas said. "The one that should not exist."
The Chancellor’s face changed. The redness faded. His skin became pale. His eyes widened.
"What do you mean?"
"I found it," Thomas said. "In the basement. In the dark. It was not in the index. It was hidden."
The Chancellor stood up. He walked to the window. He looked out. He did not speak.
"That book is gone," the Chancellor said. "It was burned. Fifty years ago. I ordered it burned."
"I found it," Thomas said. "It is in my house. In my study. Under the rug."
The Chancellor turned. He looked at Thomas. He looked angry. He looked afraid.
"Why did you not tell me?"
"I was afraid," Thomas said.
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid of you," Thomas said. "Afraid of what you would do."
The Chancellor smiled. It was a cold smile. It did not reach his eyes. "I would do nothing. I would help you. I would destroy it. Again. Permanently."
Thomas looked at the floor. He saw a crack in the marble. It was thin. It was black. It looked like a vein.
"I cannot destroy it," Thomas said.
The Chancellor frowned. "Why not?"
"It is too late," Thomas said. "It has already been read."
The Chancellor’s face went white. "Who read it?"
"My son," Thomas said.
The Chancellor made a sound. It was a gasp. It was a cry. He fell back into his chair. The chair scraped against the floor.
"Your son?" the Chancellor screamed. "He is dead. He is dead for ten years."
"He is dead," Thomas said. "But he read it before he died. He wrote it down. He kept it in his head. He told me."
The Chancellor was shaking. He held his head in his hands. "What is in it?"
"The truth," Thomas said. "The truth about the war. The truth about the massacre. We did not lose the war. We started it. We killed them first. We burned their villages. We killed their children. And we wrote that they came to us. We wrote that we were victims. We wrote that we were righteous. It is a lie."
The Chancellor looked up. His eyes were wet. "I know," he whispered. "I have always known. That is why I burned the book. That is why I hid it. I was protecting the kingdom. I was protecting the peace."
"You were protecting a lie," Thomas said.
"I was protecting us," the Chancellor said. "If the people knew the truth, they would hate us. They would hate the crown. They would hate the nobility. They would tear this city apart. They would tear this country apart. I did it to save us."
"You saved us from the truth," Thomas said. "You saved us from ourselves."
The Chancellor stood up. He walked to the door. He opened it. He walked out. He did not look back.
Thomas stood up. He walked to the window. He looked out at the city. The fog was lifting. The sun was coming out. It was weak. It was pale. It looked like a ghost.
He thought of his son.
His son had been a scholar. Like him. He had been quiet. He had been kind. He had loved the books. He loved the history. He loved the past. He wanted to know the truth. He wanted to see the world clearly.
Thomas had stopped him. He had told him it was not safe. He had told him the past was the past. He had told him to leave it alone. He had told him to protect the present.
His son had listened. But he had not obeyed. He had found the book. He had read it. He had suffered. He had died in pain. He had died in confusion. He had died knowing the truth.
Thomas had buried him. He had closed the coffin. He had said the words. He had walked away. He had returned to the Archive. He had continued his work. He had kept the secrets. He had kept the peace.
He had been a good servant. He had been a loyal keeper. He had been a coward.
He went back to the palace. He walked to the Archive. He went down to the basement. The air was cold. It was damp. It smelled of mold. He walked to the shelf. He took down the box. It was heavy. It was wooden. It was old.
He carried it to his office. He put it on the desk. He opened it. Inside was the book. It was small. It was black. It was bound in leather. The leather was cracked.
He opened the book.
The pages were yellow. The ink was faded. It was hard to read. He read the first page.
The date was old. The name was old. The story was true.
He closed the book.
He looked at the window. The sun was higher now. It was brighter. It was warmer.
He thought of the Chancellor. He thought of his son. He thought of the people in the city. They were walking. They were living. They were happy. They did not know. They were innocent.
Or were they?
If they knew, would they be happy? Would they be better? Or would they be broken?
Thomas picked up the book. He held it in his hands. It felt heavy. It felt alive.
He walked to the fireplace. The fire was dying. The embers were red. They were hot.
He put the book in the fire.
The paper curled. It blackened. It caught fire. The flames rose. They were orange. They were bright.
He watched. He watched the truth burn. He watched the lie die.
The fire consumed the book. The ashes fell. They were gray. They were soft. They were nothing.
The room was quiet. The smoke filled the air. It was thick. It was heavy.
Thomas closed his eyes. He breathed in. He breathed out.
He felt light.
He felt free.
The fire died. The room went dark. The cold returned.
He opened his eyes.
He was still in his office. The book was still in the box. The box was still on the desk. The fire was out. The ashes were cold.
He had not burned it.
He had dreamed it.
He looked at his hands. They were clean. They were dry.
He looked at the window. The sun was setting. The sky was red. The city was dark.
He picked up the book. He put it back in the box. He closed the box.
He walked out of the Archive. He walked into the street.
The street was empty. The wind was cold. The air was still.
He walked to the bridge. He stood on the bridge. He looked down at the river. The water was dark. It was moving. It was fast.
He looked at his reflection. It was old. It was tired. It was alone.
He thought of his son. He thought of the Chancellor. He thought of the kingdom.
He had kept the secret. He had kept the peace. He had kept the lie.
He was the Keeper.
He was the Guardian.
He was the Ghost.
He walked home.
He entered his house. He went to his study. He sat in his chair. He put his head in his hands.
He waited.
The night came. The stars came out. The moon was full. It was bright. It was cold.
He sat in the dark. He sat in the silence.
He waited for the end.
He did not come.
The days passed. The weeks passed. The months passed.
Thomas stayed in the Archive. He worked. He cataloged. He organized.
He did not speak of the book. He did not speak of the truth.
He was a good servant.
He was a loyal keeper.
He was a ghost.
And the ghost stayed.
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