The Pale Path
The fog came in low. It swallowed the porch. It swallowed the door. We stood there. I stood there. You did not. You are gone. You have always been gone. The air is thick. It tastes of iron. It tastes of old rain.
I am the scholar. I am the keeper of words. I am the fool. I wrote your name in the dust. I wrote it in the snow. I wrote it in the blood of the page. I thought I could pin you. I thought I could hold you. I was wrong. You are not a thing. You are a breath. You are a ghost. You are the wind that breaks the glass.
The house is old. The beams groan. The floorboards sigh. They know. They know what I did. They know what I broke. The fire in the hearth dies. It sparks. It pops. It is blue. It is cold. I watch the flames. I watch them dance. They are like you. They are quick. They are bright. They are gone.
I remember the morning. The light was pale. The path was white. The snow lay deep. You walked ahead. Your cloak was gray. Your hair was loose. You did not look back. You never looked back. I called your name. The wind took it. The wind ate it. The wind spat it out.
I am a mirror. I am a glass. I see only myself. I see my fear. I see my greed. I see my need to control. I need to fix you. I need to save you. I need to make you stay. I am the enemy. I am the cage. I am the lock. I am the key that does not fit.
The village below is quiet. The church bell rings. It is slow. It is heavy. It marks the time. It marks the end. I am an old man. My hands are steady. My mind is sharp. My heart is dead. I am the observer. I am the witness. I see the truth. I do not understand it. I only watch.
The mirror on the wall is cracked. A spider web hangs in the corner. The dust motes dance. They are gold. They are dust. They are life. They are death. I look into the glass. I see your face. It is not your face. It is mine. It is the face I made of you. It is the face I wanted. It is not the face you had.
I loved you. I loved you with a fire that burned. I loved you with a hunger that starved. I loved you with a rage that broke. I wanted to possess you. I wanted to own you. I wanted to bind you to me. I was wrong. You were free. You were wild. You were the sky. You were the rain. You were the storm.
I tried to stop the storm. I tried to hold the sky. I tried to keep the rain. I failed. I always fail. I am the scholar. I am the student. I am the fool. I do not know. I do not know what to do. I do not know what to say. I do not know what to feel.
The night falls. The shadows grow. The candles flicker. They die. The dark comes. It is soft. It is kind. It is a mother. It wraps me. It holds me. It is cold. It is empty. I am alone. I have always been alone. I thought you were here. I was wrong. You were never here. You were in my mind. You were in my words. You were in my lies.
I wrote the letter. I sealed it. I sent it. It did not arrive. It burned. It vanished. It was never real. I am the author. I am the character. I am the lie. I am the truth. I am the end.
The door creaks. It opens. The wind blows in. The candles die. The dark is total. I am blind. I am deaf. I am mute. I am nothing. I am the void. I am the space between stars. I am the silence after the song.
I hear a voice. It is yours. It is not yours. It is the wind. It is the ghost. It is the memory. It whispers. It calls. It begs. It commands. It forgives. It condemns. It is the same. It is always the same.
I am not the hero. I am not the victim. I am the mirror. I am the glass. I am the crack. I am the break. I am the fall. I am the dust. I am the ash. I am the nothing.
The path is pale. The path is white. The path is long. The path is short. The path is here. The path is there. The path is gone. I am on the path. I am off the path. I am in the path. I am out of the path. I am the path. I am not the path. I am the walker. I am the walked. I am the walking.
I let go. I let go. I let go. My hands are empty. My heart is light. My mind is clear. I see you. I see you clearly. You are not mine. You are not lost. You are found. You are free. You are gone. You are here. You are everywhere. You are nowhere. You are the fog. You are the light. You are the dark. You are the life. You are the death. You are the love. You are the hate. You are the truth. You are the lie. You are the end.
I am the witness. I am the observer. I am the scholar. I am the fool. I am the man. I am the ghost. I am the stone. I am the tree. I am the river. I am the mountain. I am the sky. I am the earth. I am the air. I am the fire. I am the water. I am the spirit. I am the soul. I am the body. I am the mind. I am the will. I am the heart. I am the self. I am the other. I am the one. I am the many. I am the whole. I am the part. I am the beginning. I am the middle. I am the end.
The fog lifts. The sun rises. The light is pale. The light is bright. The light is cold. The light is warm. The light is life. The light is death. The light is love. The light is hate. The light is truth. The light is lie. The light is end.
I stand up. I walk out. The snow is deep. The air is sharp. The sky is vast. The world is big. The world is small. The world is quiet. The world is loud. The world is real. The world is dream. The world is you. The world is me. The world is us. The world is none.
I am free. I am free. I am free.
The door closes. The lock turns. The key is lost. The house is empty. The house is full. The house is dead. The house is alive. The house is me. The house is you. The house is us. The house is none.
I walk. I walk. I walk. The path is long. The path is short. The path is here. The path is there. The path is gone. I am on the path. I am off the path. I am in the path. I am out of the path. I am the path. I am not the path. I am the walker. I am the walked. I am the walking.
I let go. I let go. I let go.
The end.
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