The Golden Ritual
"You are late," said the Warden.
I bowed. My neck cracked.
"Three minutes," I said.
"Time is not a suggestion here," the Warden replied. His voice was dry. Like leaves in a jar. "The court has convened."
The room was small. White. It smelled of bleach and old paper. We sat in a circle. No chairs. Just the floor. Cold tile. My knees ached. The Warden sat opposite me. His eyes were grey. Flat. Like stones in a riverbed.
"State your purpose," he said.
"I seek the release of the Beast," I said.
A silence fell. Heavy. Thick.
"The Beast is a prisoner," the Warden said. "It is dangerous. It is wild. It does not know the law."
"I know it," I said. "I have spoken to it. It is not evil. It is only hungry. And it is tired."
The Warden leaned forward. "You claim to commune with the animal? To hear its thoughts?"
"I am a speaker," I said. "A bridge."
"A liar," he said.
"I am a witness."
The air in the room grew cold. I felt it in my teeth. I looked at my hands. They were trembling. I clenched them. The skin was tight. The nails were bitten down to the quick. I had not slept. I had not eaten. I had only waited.
"Why?" the Warden asked. "Why do you care for a rat? A vermin? A thing that steals from the poor?"
"It is not a rat," I said. "It is a symbol. It is the truth."
"Truth is not a pet," the Warden said. "Truth is a tool. And we use it to keep the order."
I looked at him. I saw the fear in his eyes. It was hidden. Deep. But it was there. He was afraid of what I knew. Or rather, afraid of what I did not know.
"Release it," I said.
"We will not."
"Then I will stay."
"You will rot," he said. "Here. In the dark. Until you forget your name. Until you forget the Beast."
I smiled. It was a small smile. Sad. "I do not forget."
The doors opened. Two guards entered. They wore black. Their faces were hidden behind masks. They moved in sync. Like machines. They took my arms. They lifted me. I did not fight. I let them take me.
We walked. Down a corridor. Long. Dark. The lights flickered. One by one, they died.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked.
"To the Cell," one guard said. His voice was muffled.
"The Beast is there," I said.
"The Beast is alone," the guard said.
They threw me down. I landed hard. My back hit the concrete. The pain was sharp. White. I gasped. I rolled onto my side. The floor was rough. Abrasive. I could feel the grit under my cheek.
The door slammed. The lock clicked. A heavy sound. Final.
I was alone.
I waited.
The darkness was total. Absolute. I could not see my hand if it were in front of my face. I breathed. In. Out. The air was still. Stale.
I closed my eyes. I did not need to see. I needed to listen. I needed to feel.
I reached out with my mind. I stretched it. It was thin. Tattered. But it was there. I pushed into the dark. I pushed past the walls. Past the stone. Past the silence.
I found it.
The Beast.
It was not a rat. It was not a wolf. It was not a lion.
It was a man.
He was sitting in the corner. Curled up. Small. He was shaking. His clothes were torn. His skin was pale. Like wax. He had no hair. His head was shaved. His eyes were closed.
"Are you there?" I whispered.
The man opened his eyes. They were red. Swollen. He looked at me. He did not speak. He only stared.
"Thomas," I said.
He flinched. The name hit him like a blow. He pulled back. He pressed himself against the wall.
"Who are you?" he asked. His voice was a rasp. Broken.
"I am your friend," I said. "I am here to help."
"Help?" he laughed. It was a dry sound. Like gravel. "There is no help. There is only the cage."
"We can leave," I said. "I can open the door."
"You cannot," he said. "They will stop you. They will kill you."
"I am not afraid," I said.
"You should be," he said. "They are the Law. And the Law does not forgive."
I moved closer. I crawled on the floor. The cold bit into my skin. I stopped in front of him. I reached out. I touched his shoulder. He was warm. Alive.
"Let me go," I said.
"Why?" he asked. "Why do you want to save me? I am nothing. I am a mistake."
"You are the heart of this place," I said. "You are the conscience."
"I am the disease," he said. "They keep me here to show that we can control the mind. We can break the spirit. We can turn a man into a monster. And then we keep the monster in a box."
I felt a chill. I pulled my hand back.
"The Law," I said. "It is not about order. It is about power."
"It is always about power," he said. "The Law is a lie. A beautiful lie. We tell ourselves that we are just. That we are fair. But we are not. We are cruel. And we call it justice."
I looked at him. I saw the truth in his face. It was raw. Exposed. Like a wound.
"I believe you," I said.
"Belief is not enough," he said. "You must act."
"I will act."
"You will fail."
"I will try."
He looked away. He closed his eyes. He began to shake again.
"Go," he said. "Leave me. If you stay, they will take you too. And they will break you. They will make you like me."
"I cannot leave you," I said.
"You must."
The door opened. Light flooded in. Blinding. White.
I shielded my eyes. The guards were there. The Warden stood behind them. He held a key. A large, iron key.
"Step forward," the Warden said.
I did not move.
"Step forward," he repeated. His voice was cold. Commanding.
I looked at Thomas. He was still curled up. He did not look at me. He did not look at the light.
"I will not step," I said.
The Warden sighed. He was tired. I could hear it in his breath.
"We have been patient," he said. "But patience has its limits."
He threw the key. It hit the floor. It clattered. It rolled to a stop near my feet.
"Take it," he said.
I looked at the key. It was small. Dull. It did not look like power. It looked like a burden.
"Open the door," the Warden said.
I looked at Thomas. I wanted to speak. I wanted to warn him. But I could not. I had no voice. I had no breath.
I picked up the key.
It was heavy. Heavier than it looked.
I walked to the door. The guards flanked me. They did not touch me. They did not need to. The fear was enough.
I put the key in the lock. It turned. Click.
The door opened.
Thomas stood up. He was tall. He had grown in the dark. His shoulders were broad. His face was hard. Stone.
He looked at me. His eyes were clear. Cold.
"Thank you," he said.
I shook my head. "No," I said. "You have to go."
"Where?" he asked.
"Anywhere," I said. "Away from here. Away from them."
He looked at the Warden. The Warden stood still. He did not move. He did not speak. He watched. He waited.
Thomas walked out. The light swallowed him. He did not look back.
The door closed.
I was alone again.
The Warden walked in. He was alone. The guards had gone.
"You let him go," he said.
"I did not," I said. "I opened the door."
"It is the same thing."
"No," I said. "It is not."
He smiled. It was a sad smile. Like mine.
"You are a fool," he said.
"I am a witness," I said.
"You are a traitor," he said. "You have broken the Law."
"The Law is broken," I said. "It has always been broken. We are just the ones who hold the pieces."
He sat down on the floor. He was tired. Very tired.
"Why did you do it?" he asked.
"Because it was right," I said.
"Right," he said. "Right is a word we use to comfort ourselves. It means nothing. Action means everything. And your action was a mistake."
"Maybe," I said. "But it was mine."
He looked at me. He saw the change. I was not the same man who had walked in. I was lighter. Empty. But clean.
"You will rot here," he said. "In the dark. You will forget. You will become like him."
"I will not forget," I said.
"You will," he said. "The dark is patient. It takes its time."
He stood up. He walked to the door. He opened it. The light spilled in.
"Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," I said.
He left. The door closed.
The darkness returned.
I sat on the floor. I breathed. In. Out.
I did not cry. I did not scream. I did not fight.
I closed my eyes.
I waited.
The dark came. It wrapped around me. Soft. Cold.
I felt it. The Beast. It was not Thomas. It was not a man. It was the place. It was the silence. It was the truth that we cannot speak.
It was me.
I had been the Beast all along. I had been the thing they kept in the cage. I had been the secret they wanted to hide.
And I had set myself free.
But freedom is not a door. Freedom is a void.
I sat in the void. I was alone. I was free.
I waited for the end.
It did not come.
I waited for the dawn.
It did not come.
I only waited.
And in the waiting, I found peace.
Not the peace of sleep. Not the peace of death.
The peace of knowing.
I knew.
And that was enough.
The dark held me. I held the dark.
We were one.
And we were quiet.
And we were done.
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