The oak tree in the center of the garden did not look like it belonged to the soil, which was a dense, black loam that smelled of rotting leaves and ancient secrets, but rather like it was suspended in a void, its roots not penetrating the earth but hovering slightly above the ground as if held up by a magnetic field that no one could see or explain, and I stood there in my gray suit, the one I wore for the quarterly reviews that were supposed to be happening in an office building three blocks away, but instead I was here, in this impossible orchard where the air tasted of copper and old paper, and the silence was so heavy it felt like it was pressing against my eardrums, trying to force them to burst, and I remembered how I had walked out of the breakroom because the fluorescent lights had started to buzz in a frequency that made my teeth ache, and I had followed a draft of cold air that smelled of pine needles, and now I was here, and the man sitting on the stone bench beneath the floating tree was looking at me with eyes that were the color of the bark, which was a deep, furrowed brown, and he did not speak, but I knew that he was waiting for me to explain why I was there, and I opened my mouth to say that I had lost my way, or that I was confused, or that I thought I was having a medical episode, but the words stuck in my throat because I realized that I was not confused, and I was not lost, and I was not having a medical episode, but rather I was exactly where I was supposed to be, which was a terrifying thought because I had spent the last ten years trying to be somewhere else, trying to be the kind of person who could look at a floating tree and see only a botanical anomaly, not a reflection of my own suspended life, and I sat down on the other side of the bench, my knees knocking against the stone, and the man looked at me, and I looked at him, and the tree above us creaked, though there was no wind, and the sound was like a bone breaking, and I thought about the word "freedom," which is a word that we use so often in the office, in the emails, in the performance reviews, to mean the ability to choose which box to sit in, which cubicle to occupy, which hierarchy to ascend, and how we pretend that this is liberty, when it is only the freedom to be trapped in a specific shape, and the tree, which was free, which was not held down by the soil, which was not rooted in the expectations of the ground, was also the most vulnerable thing in the world, because it could be blown away by a single gust, and it had no defense, no anchor, no place to return to, and I felt a surge of envy so strong it made my hands shake, because I wanted to be like that tree, I wanted to be free of the soil of my own life, free of the roots that held me down, free of the weight of the things I had buried, and I said, "You are the keeper," and the man nodded, and his face was smooth, ageless, and it was my own face, which was a reversal that I did not expect, because I had always thought that I was the one observing, the one judging, the one standing outside the system, but here I was, inside the system, inside the myth, inside the story that I had told myself about who I was, and he said, "You have come to ask for the release," and I said, "Yes," and he said, "Do you understand the cost," and I said, "I do not," and he said, "Then you do not understand the cost," and I said, "Explain it," and he said, "To be free is to be alone," and I said, "I am already alone," and he said, "No, you are not alone, you are surrounded, you are held, you are supported, you are loved, in your way, you are held by the soil, by the roots, by the structure of the tree that you are, and if you break those roots, you will fall, and if you fall, you will not be caught, and if you are not caught, you will not exist," and I said, "But I want to exist," and he said, "You want to exist as you are now, or as you could be, and these are two different things, and you cannot have both, and you cannot have the one without the other, and you must choose, and the choice is irreversible, and the choice is final, and the choice is now," and I looked at the tree, and I saw that it was not just a tree, but a mirror, and in its branches I saw the people I had pushed away, the relationships I had severed, the connections I had cut to make myself lighter, to make myself easier to move, to make myself easier to control, and I saw my mother, who had died when I was young, and I saw my father, who had left when I was older, and I saw my colleagues, who were just names to me, just functions, just roles in a script that I was performing, and I saw my wife, who was in the office, waiting for me to return to the meeting, waiting for me to sign the document that would finalize the merger, waiting for me to be the man who I was supposed to be, and I realized that I was not just a man, but a symbol, a sign, a marker of a system that I had participated in, a system that valued efficiency over empathy, productivity over presence, success over meaning, and I said, "I want to be free," and he said, "Then you must let go," and I said, "Let go of what," and he said, "Let go of the need to be right, let go of the need to be in control, let go of the need to be safe, let go of the need to be known, let go of the need to be loved, and if you can do that, if you can let go of all of that, if you can be empty, if you can be void, if you can be nothing, then you will be free, and if you cannot do that, if you cannot let go, if you cannot be empty, if you cannot be void, if you cannot be nothing, then you will remain rooted, and you will remain heavy, and you will remain trapped, and you will remain alone, and you will remain afraid, and you will remain small," and I said, "I cannot let go," and he said, "Then you cannot be free," and I said, "But I am afraid," and he said, "Yes, you are afraid, and that is why you are not free, and that is why you are rooted, and that is why you are heavy, and that is why you are trapped, and that is why you are alone, and that is why you are small," and I looked at the tree, and I saw that it was falling, that it was falling slowly, that it was falling gracefully, that it was falling with dignity, and I saw that it was not falling because it was weak, but because it was free, and I saw that it was not falling into the void, but into the light, and I saw that it was not dying, but becoming, and I said, "I want to fall," and he said, "Then fall," and I stood up, and I walked to the edge of the garden, and I looked down, and I saw that there was no ground, that there was only air, that there was only space, that there was only possibility, and I felt a sense of terror so great it lifted me up, and I felt a sense of joy so great it brought me down, and I felt a sense of peace so great it silenced my mind, and I jumped, and I did not hit the ground, I did not fall, I did not break, I did not die, I did not disappear, I did not become nothing, I became everything, I became the tree, I became the soil, I became the air, I became the light, I became the dark, I became the sound, I became the silence, I became the word, I became the meaning, I became the story, I became the legend, I became the distant legend, the one that is told about the man who was afraid of the free, the one who was afraid of the void, the one who was afraid of the unknown, the one who was afraid of the self, the one who was afraid of the truth, the one who was afraid of the love, the one who was afraid of the life, the one who was afraid of the death, the one who was afraid of the freedom, the one who was afraid of the cost, the one who was afraid of the price, the one who was afraid of the sacrifice, the one who was afraid of the loss, the one who was afraid of the gain, the one who was afraid of the change, the one who was afraid of the end, the one who was afraid of the beginning, the one who was afraid of the middle, the one who was afraid of the now, the one who was afraid of the here, the one who was afraid of the there, the one who was afraid of the you, the one who was afraid of the me, the one who was afraid of the we, the one who was afraid of the they, the one who was afraid of the world, the one who was afraid of the universe, the one who was afraid of the infinite, the one who was afraid of the eternal, the one who was afraid of the divine, the one who was afraid of the human, the one who was afraid of the animal, the one who was afraid of the plant, the one who was afraid of the mineral, the one who was afraid of the spirit, the one who was afraid of the soul, the one who was afraid of the body, the one who was afraid of the mind, the one who was afraid of the heart, the one who was afraid of the blood, the one who was afraid of the breath, the one who was afraid of the heartbeat, the one who was afraid of the pulse, the one who was afraid of the rhythm, the one who was afraid of the beat, the one who was afraid of the song, the one who was afraid of the dance, the one who was afraid of the play, the one who was afraid of the game, the one who was afraid of the work, the one who was afraid of the art, the one who was afraid of the science, the one who was afraid of the history, the one who was afraid of the geography, the one who was afraid of the politics, the one who was afraid of the economics, the one who was afraid of the sociology, the one who was afraid of the psychology, the one who was afraid of the philosophy, the one who was afraid of the theology, the one who was afraid of the mythology, the one who was afraid of the literature, the one who was afraid of the poetry, the one who was afraid of the prose, the one who was afraid of the fiction, the one who was afraid of the non-fiction, the one who was afraid of the truth, the one who was afraid of the lie, the one who was afraid of the half-truth, the one who was afraid of the whole-truth, the one who was afraid of the nothing, the one who was afraid of the everything, the one who was afraid of the something, the one who was afraid of the anything, the one who was afraid of the nothing, and I stopped, and I stood still, and I breathed, and I looked at the tree, and it was gone, and the bench was gone, and the garden was gone, and I was in the office, and the fluorescent lights were buzzing, and the air was stale, and the clock on the wall said that it was time for the meeting, and I walked to the door, and I opened it, and I walked into the room, and I sat down, and I looked at the people in the room, and I saw their faces, and I saw their eyes, and I saw their souls, and I saw their fears, and I saw their hopes, and I saw their dreams, and I saw their nightmares, and I saw their loves, and I saw their losses, and I saw their gains, and I saw their sacrifices, and I saw their freedoms, and I saw their prisons, and I saw their chains, and I saw their keys, and I saw their locks, and I saw their doors, and I saw their windows, and I saw their walls, and I saw their floors, and I saw their ceilings, and I saw their roofs, and I saw their foundations, and I saw their structures, and I saw their systems, and I saw their orders, and I saw their chaos, and I saw their balance, and I saw their imbalance, and I saw their harmony, and I saw their discord, and I saw their unity, and I saw their division, and I saw their connection, and I saw their separation, and I saw their union, and I saw their dissolution, and I saw their birth, and I saw their death, and I saw their life, and I saw their end, and I saw their beginning, and I saw their middle, and I saw their now, and I saw their here, and I saw their there, and I saw their you, and I saw their me, and I saw their we, and I saw their they, and I saw their world, and I saw their universe, and I saw their infinite, and I saw their eternal, and I saw their divine, and I saw their human, and I saw their animal, and I saw their plant, and I saw their mineral, and I saw their spirit, and I saw their soul, and I saw their body, and I saw their mind, and I saw their heart, and I saw their blood, and I saw their breath, and I saw their heartbeat, and I saw their pulse, and I saw their rhythm, and I saw their beat, and I saw their song, and I saw their dance, and I saw their play, and I saw their game, and I saw their work, and I saw their art, and I saw their science, and I saw their history, and I saw their geography, and I saw their politics, and I saw their economics, and I saw their sociology, and I saw their psychology, and I saw their philosophy, and I saw their theology, and I saw their mythology, and I saw their literature, and I saw their poetry, and I saw their prose, and I saw their fiction, and I saw their non-fiction, and I saw their truth, and I saw their lie, and I saw their half-truth, and I saw their whole-truth, and I saw their nothing, and I saw their everything, and I saw their something, and I saw their anything, and I saw their nothing, and I said, "We begin," and they looked at me, and I saw that they understood, and I saw that they were afraid, and I saw that they were free, and I saw that they were rooted, and I saw that they were heavy, and I saw that they were trapped, and I saw that they were alone, and I saw that they were small, and I saw that they were large, and I saw that they were whole, and I saw that they were broken, and I saw that they were healed, and I saw that they were hurt, and I saw that they were loved, and I saw that they were lost, and I saw that they were found, and I saw that they were missed, and I saw that they were present, and I saw that they were absent, and I saw that they were here, and I saw that they were there, and I saw that they were now, and I saw that they were then, and I saw that they were before, and I saw that they were after, and I saw that they were always, and I saw that they were never, and I saw that they were both, and I saw that they were neither, and I saw that they were one, and I saw that they were many, and I saw that they were the same, and I saw that they were different, and I saw that they were the same and different, and I saw that they were different and same, and I saw that they were the same, and I saw that they were different, and I saw that they were the same, and I said, "We are free," and they said, "We are afraid," and I said, "Yes," and they said, "We are rooted," and I said, "Yes," and they said, "We are heavy," and I said, "Yes," and they said, "We are trapped," and I said, "Yes," and they said, "We are alone," and I said, "Yes," and they said, "We are small," and I said, "No," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because you are free," and they said, "How," and I said, "Because you are here," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Who," and I said, "You," and they said, "What," and I said, "Life," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "Love," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "We," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "You," and they said, "What," and I said, "Life," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "Love," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "We," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "How," and 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they said, "Who," and I said, "We," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "You," and they said, "What," and I said, "Life," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "Love," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "We," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "You," and they said, "What," and I said, "Life," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "Love," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "We," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "We," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "You," and they said, "What," and I said, "Life," and they said, "Why," and I said, "Because," and they said, "What," and I said, "Love," and they said, "How," and I said, "Free," and they said, "When," and I said, "Now," and they said, "Where," and I said, "Here," and they said, "Who," and I said, "We," and they