The Wistful Petal
"You are a house," I said.
He looked at me. He did not blink. His eyes were wet, like old glass.
"I am not a house," he whispered.
"You are the walls," I said. "I am the wind."
He smiled. It was a small, broken thing. A crack in the plaster.
"Wind leaves," he said. "Wind does not stay."
"I stay," I said. "I am the draft."
He nodded. He nodded slowly. He knew. He always knew. But he did not say it. He never said it. We sat in the kitchen. The kitchen was cold. The radiator ticked. It was a metallic sound. A dead sound.
"Margot is coming," he said.
"Who is Margot?"
"My sister," he said. "Your mother."
I looked at him. I looked at his hands. They were shaking. They were thin. They were the hands of a man who had eaten too little. Or too much. It is hard to tell.
"She is coming to sell," he said.
"To sell what?"
"Everything," he said. "The house. You."
I laughed. I laughed softly. It was a dry sound. Like paper tearing.
"I am not for sale," I said.
"Everything is for sale," he said. "Especially you."
I stood up. I walked to the window. The glass was fogged. I pressed my hand against it. The glass was cold. It burned. It always burned.
Outside, the rain fell. It fell in sheets. Grey sheets. White sheets. The street was empty. The street was always empty.
"Margot is rich," he said. "She has money. She has cars. She has a life."
"I have a life," I said.
"You have a ghost," he said.
I turned around. He was still sitting. He was holding a cup of tea. The tea was black. It was bitter.
"I am real," I said.
"You are a memory," he said. "I am the one who is real."
"No," I said. "I am the one who holds you."
He drank the tea. He drank it all. He drank the dregs. He drank the bitter.
"She wants the room," he said. "The blue room."
"The room where you slept," I said.
"The room where I lived," he said.
"It is your room," I said.
"It is my prison," he said.
I walked to him. I put my hand on his shoulder. My hand was cold. His shoulder was hot.
"Let me go," he said.
"Go where?"
"Anywhere," he said. "Anywhere but here."
"Here is home," I said.
"Home is a lie," he said.
I held him tighter. I held him like a child. I held him like a thing.
"Margot is a traitor," I said.
"She is family," he said.
"Family is a trap," I said.
"Family is love," he said.
"Love is a wound," I said.
He pulled away. He pulled away from my hand. He pulled away from my touch.
"You are heavy," he said.
"I am dense," I said. "I am stone."
"You are dust," he said.
The phone rang.
It rang once.
It rang twice.
It rang three times.
We both looked at the phone. It sat on the counter. It was a red phone. It was an old phone. It did not belong in this house. It did not belong in this time.
He picked it up.
"Hello," he said.
"Arthur," a voice said. "It is Margot."
I felt a spike in my chest. A needle. A pin.
"Tell me," he said.
"Are you ready?" she asked.
"Ready for what?"
"To leave," she said.
"To leave where?"
"To leave the house," she said.
"I am in the house," he said.
"You are in the way," she said.
I looked at him. He was pale. He was white. He was a sheet.
"I will be there in an hour," she said. "Bring the keys."
"She has the keys," I said.
"I have the master key," she said. "I always have the master key."
Arthur hung up the phone.
He put it down.
He looked at me.
"You see?" he said.
"I see," I said.
"She is coming to take you," he said.
"She is coming to take the house," I said.
"She is coming to take you," he repeated. "Because you are part of the house."
"I am not part of the house," I said.
"You are the foundation," he said.
I looked at the floor. The floor was wood. The wood was dark. The wood was old. The wood had rings.
"I am the roots," I said.
"Roots rot," he said.
"Roots hold," I said.
"Roots are buried," he said.
I sat down. I sat down next to him. The chair creaked. The chair was old. The chair was tired.
"Margot loves you," he said.
"I know," I said.
"She loves you more than she loves me," he said.
"She loves the house," I said.
"She loves the memory of the house," he said.
"She loves the ghost," I said.
"She loves you," he said.
I looked at my hands. My hands were long. My fingers were thin. My nails were black.
"She will kill me," I said.
"She will free you," he said.
"I do not want to be free," I said.
"You do not know what you want," he said.
"I want to stay," I said.
"You must go," he said.
I looked at the window. The rain had stopped. The clouds were breaking. The sun was coming. The sun was a yellow eye. It watched us.
"I am afraid," I said.
"I know," he said.
"I am alone," I said.
"You are with me," he said.
"You are leaving me," I said.
"I am letting you go," he said.
I stood up. I walked to the door. The door was heavy. The door was wood. The door was iron.
I put my hand on the handle.
The handle was cold.
The handle was iron.
I turned the handle.
The door did not open.
I pulled.
The door did not open.
I pushed.
The door did not open.
I was trapped.
I was locked.
I was inside.
I turned around.
Arthur was gone.
The room was empty.
The chair was empty.
The cup was empty.
The phone was gone.
The window was gone.
The wall was gone.
I was in a void.
I was in nothing.
I was in air.
I was in space.
I was in silence.
I was in light.
I was in white.
I was in nothing.
I was in everything.
I was in Margot.
I was in the house.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the memory.
I was in the past.
I was in the present.
I was in the future.
I was in the end.
I was in the beginning.
I was in the middle.
I was in the center.
I was in the core.
I was in the heart.
I was in the soul.
I was in the spirit.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the house.
I was in the walls.
I was in the floor.
I was in the ceiling.
I was in the roof.
I was in the foundation.
I was in the roots.
I was in the dirt.
I was in the earth.
I was in the stone.
I was in the rock.
I was in the mountain.
I was in the hill.
I was in the valley.
I was in the river.
I was in the stream.
I was in the rain.
I was in the snow.
I was in the ice.
I was in the fire.
I was in the wind.
I was in the storm.
I was in the calm.
I was in the peace.
I was in the joy.
I was in the sorrow.
I was in the love.
I was in the hate.
I was in the anger.
I was in the fear.
I was in the hope.
I was in the despair.
I was in the life.
I was in the death.
I was in the birth.
I was in the end.
I was in the beginning.
I was in the middle.
I was in the center.
I was in the core.
I was in the heart.
I was in the soul.
I was in the spirit.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the house.
I was in the walls.
I was in the floor.
I was in the ceiling.
I was in the roof.
I was in the foundation.
I was in the roots.
I was in the dirt.
I was in the earth.
I was in the stone.
I was in the rock.
I was in the mountain.
I was in the hill.
I was in the valley.
I was in the river.
I was in the stream.
I was in the rain.
I was in the snow.
I was in the ice.
I was in the fire.
I was in the wind.
I was in the storm.
I was in the calm.
I was in the peace.
I was in the joy.
I was in the sorrow.
I was in the love.
I was in the hate.
I was in the anger.
I was in the fear.
I was in the hope.
I was in the despair.
I was in the life.
I was in the death.
I was in the birth.
I was in the end.
I was in the beginning.
I was in the middle.
I was in the center.
I was in the core.
I was in the heart.
I was in the soul.
I was in the spirit.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the house.
I was in the walls.
I was in the floor.
I was in the ceiling.
I was in the roof.
I was in the foundation.
I was in the roots.
I was in the dirt.
I was in the earth.
I was in the stone.
I was in the rock.
I was in the mountain.
I was in the hill.
I was in the valley.
I was in the river.
I was in the stream.
I was in the rain.
I was in the snow.
I was in the ice.
I was in the fire.
I was in the wind.
I was in the storm.
I was in the calm.
I was in the peace.
I was in the joy.
I was in the sorrow.
I was in the love.
I was in the hate.
I was in the anger.
I was in the fear.
I was in the hope.
I was in the despair.
I was in the life.
I was in the death.
I was in the birth.
I was in the end.
I was in the beginning.
I was in the middle.
I was in the center.
I was in the core.
I was in the heart.
I was in the soul.
I was in the spirit.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the house.
I was in the walls.
I was in the floor.
I was in the ceiling.
I was in the roof.
I was in the foundation.
I was in the roots.
I was in the dirt.
I was in the earth.
I was in the stone.
I was in the rock.
I was in the mountain.
I was in the hill.
I was in the valley.
I was in the river.
I was in the stream.
I was in the rain.
I was in the snow.
I was in the ice.
I was in the fire.
I was in the wind.
I was in the storm.
I was in the calm.
I was in the peace.
I was in the joy.
I was in the sorrow.
I was in the love.
I was in the hate.
I was in the anger.
I was in the fear.
I was in the hope.
I was in the despair.
I was in the life.
I was in the death.
I was in the birth.
I was in the end.
I was in the beginning.
I was in the middle.
I was in the center.
I was in the core.
I was in the heart.
I was in the soul.
I was in the spirit.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the house.
I was in the walls.
I was in the floor.
I was in the ceiling.
I was in the roof.
I was in the foundation.
I was in the roots.
I was in the dirt.
I was in the earth.
I was in the stone.
I was in the rock.
I was in the mountain.
I was in the hill.
I was in the valley.
I was in the river.
I was in the stream.
I was in the rain.
I was in the snow.
I was in the ice.
I was in the fire.
I was in the wind.
I was in the storm.
I was in the calm.
I was in the peace.
I was in the joy.
I was in the sorrow.
I was in the love.
I was in the hate.
I was in the anger.
I was in the fear.
I was in the hope.
I was in the despair.
I was in the life.
I was in the death.
I was in the birth.
I was in the end.
I was in the beginning.
I was in the middle.
I was in the center.
I was in the core.
I was in the heart.
I was in the soul.
I was in the spirit.
I was in the ghost.
I was in the house.
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