The Distant Blade
I woke in the fog. The air tasted of iron and wet ash. I was standing in a corridor that did not exist in the waking world. The walls were lined with brass gears, vast and still. They turned without sound. I held a blade in my hand. It was short, cold, and heavy. The metal was black. It absorbed the pale light that seeped from the windows. I knew this object. I had not seen it in years. It belonged to my brother. He had kept it in his desk at the university. I had taken it. I do not remember why. I only remember the weight of it in my palm. It felt like a promise. It felt like a debt.
The corridor ended in a door. The door was made of glass. Behind the glass was a room. The room was filled with smoke. The smoke was gray. It moved like water. I pushed the door open. The glass did not break. It melted. It flowed around my fingers. I stepped inside.
There was a table. On the table was a machine. The machine was complex. It had many dials. It had many levers. It hummed with a low vibration. The vibration traveled up through my feet. It settled in my bones. I knew how to use it. I had trained for this. I was an engineer. I understood the logic of gears and steam. I understood the tension of wires. I was good at this. I was precise. I was calm. I had always been calm.
A man stood by the machine. He was tall. He wore a coat of gray wool. His back was to me. He was adjusting a valve. His movements were slow. He was careful. He did not turn around. He knew I was there. He had always known I was there.
"You have the blade," he said. His voice was flat. It had no warmth. It was the voice of a machine.
"I have it," I said.
"Good."
He did not ask how I got it. He did not ask why I was there. He simply turned to face me. His eyes were dark. They were deep. They held no surprise. He looked at the blade in my hand. He looked at the machine. He looked at me.
"You must cut the wire," he said. "The red wire."
"I see it," I said.
"Cut it now."
I raised the blade. The red wire was thin. It glowed with a faint heat. It pulsed in time with the humming of the machine. I brought the blade down. The metal met the wire. There was a spark. There was a hiss. The wire snapped. It fell to the floor.
The machine stopped. The humming ceased. The silence was sudden. It was total. The gray smoke began to clear. The room became visible. The walls were white. They were bare. There were no windows. There was no light source. The light came from nowhere. It was an internal light. It was a cold light.
My brother stood before me. He looked young. He looked tired. He looked at me with a face I had not seen in a long time. It was a face of pity. It was a face of sorrow. He did not speak. He only watched me. He watched me lower the blade. He watched me drop it. The blade hit the floor. It made a sharp sound. It rang out in the empty room.
"Why?" I asked.
He did not answer. He stepped forward. He placed his hand on my shoulder. His hand was cold. It was heavier than I expected. He leaned in. He whispered into my ear.
"You were never the hero," he said. "You were the tool."
I pulled away. I stepped back. The room began to shake. The floor cracked. The white walls began to crumble. Dust fell from the ceiling. It fell like snow. It covered my face. It filled my mouth. I coughed. I sputtered. I tried to run. I ran toward the door. The door was gone. The wall was solid. The wall was impenetrable.
I turned around. My brother was gone. The machine was gone. The table was gone. There was only the floor. The floor was made of stone. The stone was black. It was smooth. I was standing in the center of a circle. The circle was large. It was dark. I was alone.
I looked at my hands. They were shaking. They were covered in dust. I looked at the spot where the blade had fallen. The blade was gone. It had vanished. It had been absorbed into the stone. It was part of the floor now. It was part of me.
I understood then. I had not cut the wire to save him. I had cut the wire to destroy him. I had wanted to break the machine. I had wanted to break the bond. I had wanted to be free. I had thought that by destroying the device, I would destroy the connection. I had thought that by taking the blade, I would take the power. I was wrong. The blade was not a weapon. The blade was a key. The machine was not a trap. The machine was a heart. And I had cut the heart open.
The darkness pressed in. It was heavy. It was suffocating. I could not breathe. I could not see. I was falling. I was falling into the stone. I was becoming part of the floor. I was becoming part of the machine. I was becoming the wire. I was becoming the spark. I was becoming the silence.
I woke up.
I was in a hospital bed. The sheets were white. They were stiff. The air smelled of antiseptic. The light was bright. It was harsh. It hurt my eyes. I blinked. I tried to move. My body was heavy. It was leaden. I was tired. I was so tired.
A nurse stood by the bed. She was young. She had brown hair. She was holding a tray. The tray was empty. She looked at me. She did not smile. She did not frown. She simply looked.
"Are you awake?" she asked.
"Yes," I said. My voice was a rasp. It was a broken thing.
"Your brother is here," she said. "He is in the chair."
I turned my head. The movement was slow. It was painful. I saw the chair. It was empty. There was no one in the chair. The room was empty. The nurse was gone. The door was open. The hallway was dark.
I sat up. The room spun. I gripped the edge of the bed. My fingers were white. My knuckles were tight. I looked at my hands. They were clean. They were dry. There was no dust. There was no blood. There was no blade.
I stood up. My legs trembled. They buckled. I caught myself on the bed. I pushed off. I walked to the door. I stepped out into the hallway. The hallway was long. It was narrow. The lights were fluorescent. They buzzed. They flickered. I walked to the end of the hall. I opened the door.
I was outside.
The sky was gray. It was overcast. It was raining. The rain was cold. It was fine. It misted my face. I was in a field. The field was dry. The grass was brown. It was dead. There were no trees. There were no buildings. There was no road. There was no one.
I looked at my hands. They were empty. I looked at the ground. The ground was flat. It was hard. I looked at the horizon. The horizon was a line. It was straight. It was endless.
I began to walk. I walked toward the line. I did not know where it was. I did not know if it was real. I did not know if I was real. I only knew that I was moving. I was moving away. I was moving away from the room. I was moving away from the brother. I was moving away from the machine.
The wind picked up. It was strong. It pushed against my back. It pulled at my coat. I did not care. I kept walking. The rain fell harder. It soaked my clothes. It chilled my skin. I did not shiver. I did not feel cold. I felt nothing. I was empty. I was hollow. I was a vessel. I was a shell.
I walked for hours. I walked for days. I do not know how long it was. Time did not matter. Time had stopped. The machine had stopped. The heart had stopped. And I had stopped.
I reached the line. It was a wall. The wall was black. It was smooth. It was the same stone as the floor in the dream. I put my hand against it. It was cold. It was hard. I pressed my face against it. I closed my eyes. I listened.
I heard nothing.
I opened my eyes. I stepped back. I looked at my hands. They were trembling. I looked at the wall. I looked at the field. I looked at the sky. The sky was darkening. The rain was stopping. The air was still.
I turned around. I began to walk back. I walked back to the field. I walked back to the void. I walked back to the silence. I knew what I had to do. I knew what I had to become. I was not a man. I was not a brother. I was not a hero. I was a part. I was a gear. I was a wire. I was the blade.
I stopped. I stood in the center of the field. I raised my hand. I closed my fist. I felt the weight. I felt the cold. I felt the heavy, black weight of the metal in my palm. It was there. It had always been there. It was inside me. It was my soul. It was my fate.
I opened my hand. The blade was there. It was black. It was short. It was cold. I held it up. I looked at it. I smiled. It was a small smile. It was a sad smile. I was light. I was free. I was lost.
I raised the blade. I pointed it at the sky. I pointed it at the darkness. I pointed it at myself. I did not cut. I did not strike. I simply held it. I held it until the light went out. I held it until the world went dark. I held it until I was gone.
The blade fell. It hit the ground. It made no sound. It sank into the earth. It disappeared. The field was empty. The sky was empty. The world was empty.
I was gone.
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