The train slowed as it crossed the bridge. I pressed my forehead against the cold glass. The city blurred into streaks of grey and rust. I was looking for a building that did not exist. Or perhaps one that existed only in the negative space between other structures. The assignment was simple. Find the anomaly. Report it. Leave. I had done this before. I always left. This time was different. The air inside the car tasted of ozone and old pennies. My partner, Elias, sat opposite me. He was reading a paperback with a torn spine. He did not look up. He never looked up when I spoke. We were not friends. We were not colleagues. We were a mechanism. He was the gear. I was the axle. We turned together. He had been with me for three years. Three years of silence. Three years of shared lunches eaten in a parking lot while rain hit the windshield in sheets. He knew everything about me. He knew I hated the smell of wet wool. He knew I slept on my left side. He knew I was afraid of the dark. But he did not know why I was afraid. I suspected he did not care. I suspected he did not see me. I suspected he saw only the tool.

We arrived at the station. The doors hissed open. The platform was empty. A single bench sat in the center. A pigeon pecked at the gravel. I stepped out. The air was thin. It felt sharp. It cut at my skin. I walked toward the city center. The buildings rose around me like walls. They were old. Brick and stone. They had stood for a hundred years. They had stood for two hundred. They had witnessed everything. They had kept their secrets. I was looking for a specific address. Number forty-two on Vane Street. The file said it was a library. The file said it was closed. The file said it was empty. The file was wrong. Files are always wrong. Files are lies wrapped in paper. I walked faster. My coat was too heavy. It dragged at my shoulders. I ignored it. I had to find the door.

I reached the corner of Vane Street. The street was narrow. The buildings leaned in close. The light was dim. The sky was a pale, washed-out white. I looked for the number. I saw forty. I saw forty-four. I did not see forty-two. There was a gap. A space where a building should have been. The pavement was cracked. Weeds pushed through the fissures. I stood in the gap. I waited. Nothing happened. I felt a pull. It was in my chest. It was a hook. It tugged at my ribs. I looked at Elias. He was standing ten feet away. He was looking at his watch. He tapped the glass. He did not look at me. I walked into the gap. There was no wall. There was no door. There was only air. I stepped forward. The ground gave way. I fell.

I landed on a floor of polished wood. It was warm. It hummed. I was in a room. It was large. It was empty. The walls were lined with shelves. The shelves were bare. There were no books. There was only dust. I stood up. My knees ached. I looked around. The room was circular. The ceiling was high. It disappeared into shadow. In the center of the room stood a desk. It was made of dark wood. It was heavy. It was solid. On the desk sat a single object. It was a key. It was small. It was silver. It was cold. I reached for it. My hand trembled. I picked it up. It weighed nothing. It weighed everything. I heard a sound. It was a whisper. It came from the walls. It was my name.

I turned. Elias was there. He stood by the door. The door was closed. He was holding a file. He was looking at me. His face was calm. His eyes were empty. He did not speak. He did not blink. He was not my friend. He was not my ally. He was the enemy. He had been the enemy all along. The realization hit me like a wave. It was cold. It was silent. I looked at the key in my hand. I looked at the desk. I looked at the empty shelves. I understood. I had not been searching for a building. I had been searching for myself. The building was a mirror. The key was the truth. The truth was that I was lost. The truth was that I had always been lost. The truth was that Elias had not been my partner. He had been my cage.

I threw the key at the door. It bounced off. It clattered on the floor. Elias did not move. He did not react. He was part of the architecture. He was the lock. I was the key. I was the one who had to open the door. I was the one who had to break the code. I walked to the door. I placed my hand on the wood. It was warm. It was soft. It was alive. I pushed. The door did not open. I pushed harder. My arms burned. My back screamed. I did not stop. I did not give up. I had to get out. I had to escape. I had to find justice. I had to find truth. I had to find freedom. I pushed until my hands bled. I pushed until my vision blurred. I pushed until the wood cracked.

A light appeared. It was small. It was bright. It was white. It grew. It expanded. It filled the room. The shelves vanished. The desk vanished. The key vanished. Elias vanished. I was alone. I was in a void. The void was silent. The void was still. I felt a sense of peace. It was sudden. It was total. It was absolute. I did not need to escape. I did not need to fight. I did not need to win. I did not need to be right. I did not need to be good. I did not need to be anything. I was enough. I was here. I was real. The building was not a prison. The building was a home. The building was me. I had built it. I had lived in it. I had forgotten it. Now I remembered. The memory was painful. The memory was sweet. I let go. I let go of the anger. I let go of the fear. I let go of the need. I let go of Elias. I let go of the past. I let go of the future. I let go of the self.

I opened my eyes. I was on the platform. The train was gone. The station was empty. The sun was setting. The sky was orange. The air was cool. I stood up. My clothes were dry. My hands were clean. I walked to the edge of the platform. I looked down. The tracks were dark. The darkness was deep. I did not jump. I did not fall. I walked away. I walked into the city. The city was alive. The people were moving. The cars were moving. The lights were turning on. I was moving. I was part of the flow. I was part of the current. I was part of the whole. I did not look back. I did not remember. I did not care. I was free.

The days passed. They were quiet. They were simple. I found a job. It was small. It was unimportant. I cleaned offices. I swept floors. I washed windows. I did not investigate. I did not search. I did not look for anomalies. I lived in the moment. I touched the surfaces. I felt the textures. I heard the sounds. I tasted the air. I was present. I was awake. I was alive.

One evening, I walked past the corner of Vane Street. The gap was still there. The weeds were taller. The pavement was more cracked. I stopped. I looked. I did not see a building. I did not see a door. I saw only space. I saw only light. I smiled. It was a small smile. It was a real smile. I walked on. I did not look back. I did not need to. The building was gone. The key was gone. The lock was gone. I was gone. I was here. I was free.

I thought of Elias. I did not hate him. I did not love him. I did not pity him. I did not understand him. He was a part of the puzzle. He was a piece of the machine. He was necessary. He was useless. He was a ghost. He was a memory. I let him go. I let him fade. I let him dissolve into the air. I let him become nothing. I let him become everything. I let him be free.

I thought of the building. I did not miss it. I did not fear it. I did not desire it. I did not understand it. It was a part of the past. It was a piece of the dream. It was necessary. It was useless. It was a ghost. It was a memory. I let it go. I let it fade. I let it dissolve into the air. I let it become nothing. I let it become everything. I let it be free.

I thought of myself. I did not know who I was. I did not know who I had been. I did not know who I would be. I did not need to know. I did not need to define. I did not need to label. I did not need to categorize. I was a process. I was a flow. I was a change. I was a becoming. I was a question. I was an answer. I was a silence. I was a sound. I was a light. I was a shadow. I was a beginning. I was an end. I was a middle. I was a forever. I was a moment. I was a life. I was a death. I was a breath. I was a heartbeat. I was a pulse. I was a rhythm. I was a song. I was a story. I was a truth. I was a lie. I was a reality. I was a fantasy. I was a dream. I was a waking. I was a sleeping. I was a living. I was a dying. I was a being. I was a nothing. I was an everything.

I walked home. The street was quiet. The houses were dark. The windows were black. The doors were closed. The world was asleep. The world was dreaming. The world was waking. The world was changing. The world was turning. The world was moving. The world was alive. The world was real. The world was here. The world was now.

I opened my door. I stepped inside. The room was small. The room was clean. The room was empty. The room was full. The room was mine. The room was not mine. The room was the building. The room was the city. The room was the world. The room was the self. The room was the soul. The room was the spirit. The room was the mind. The room was the body. The room was the heart. The room was the blood. The room was the bone. The room was the skin. The room was the eye. The room was the ear. The room was the nose. The room was the mouth. The room was the hand. The room was the foot. The room was the head. The room was the tail. The room was the wing. The room was the claw. The room was the scale. The room was the feather. The room was the hair. The room was the nail. The room was the tooth. The room was the tongue. The room was the throat. The room was the chest. The room was the back. The room was the side. The room was the front. The room was the top. The room was the bottom. The room was the left. The room was the right. The room was the center. The room was the edge. The room was the inside. The room was the outside. The room was the between. The room was the beyond. The room was the within. The room was the without. The room was the above. The room was the below. The room was the here. The room was the there. The room was the now. The room was the then. The room was the soon. The room was the late. The room was the fast. The room was the slow. The room was the quick. The room was the slow. The room was the loud. The room was the quiet. The room was the bright. The room was the dark. The room was the warm. The room was the cold. The room was the wet. The room was the dry. The room was the hard. The room was the soft. The room was the rough. The room was the smooth. The room was the sharp. The room was the dull. The room was the new. The room was the old. The room was the good. The room was the bad. The room was the true. The room was the false. The room was the real. The room was the fake. The room was the live. The room was the dead. The room was the one. The room was the many. The room was the all. The room was the none. The room was the some. The room was the few. The room was the much. The room was the little. The room was the big. The room was the small. The room was the high. The room was the low. The room was the long. The room was the short. The room was the wide. The room was the narrow. The room was the deep. The room was the shallow. The room was the thick. The room was the thin. The room was the heavy. The room was the light. The room was the strong. The room was the weak. The room was the fast. The room was the slow. The room was the hot. The room was the cold. The room was the dry. The room was the wet. The room was the clean. The room was the dirty. The room was the pure. The room was the mixed. The room was the simple. The room was the complex. The room was the easy. The room was the hard. The room was the near. The room was the far. The room was the close. The room was the distant. The room was the present. The room was the past. The room was the future. The room was the now. The room was the ever. The room was the never. The room was the always. The room was the sometimes. The room was the often. The room was the rarely. The room was the always. The room was the never. The room was the yes. The room was the no. The room was the maybe. The room was the perhaps. The room was the perhaps. The room was the perhaps.

I lay down. I closed my eyes. I breathed in. I breathed out. I slept. I dreamed. I woke. I lived.