Maurice was a man of files, stamps, and a profound hatred for surprises. As a Level 4 Archivist at the Department of Post-Existence (DPE), his life was a steady stream of beige. He processed souls with the efficiency of a stapler, ensuring that every sin was logged and every virtue was indexed.

The DPE was not a place of divine judgment; it was a place of bureaucracy. There were no angels, only middle managers in grey suits. There were no pits of fire, only "Corrective Processing Centers" with very poor ventilation.

One rainy Tuesday, a file landed on Maurice's desk: Subject 88-B, a former provincial governor with a penchant for slaughtering wildlife.

Maurice sighed. This was a standard "Cruelty Case." The subject should be sent to the launderies for three centuries of scrubbing. He reached for the "Condemn" stamp, but then he noticed a flag in the system.

*Atonement Credit: 2,000 Units.*

Maurice frowned. He clicked the detail view. The subject had spent fifteen years reciting a specific text. In the DPE's antiquated software, "Recitation" was linked to the "Donation" category.

A century ago, a programmer had used the same variable for both "reciting a prayer" and "donating to the church." The system didn't distinguish between a man who spent an hour praying and a man who donated twenty million dollars to a cathedral. Both were logged as "Value Added to the Cosmos."

According to the software, Subject 88-B had "donated" the equivalent of twenty million spiritual credits.

"This is a disaster," Maurice whispered.

If he reported the error, he would have to fill out Form 12-B (Notification of Systemic Inconsistency), which required three signatures from the Regional Director. The Director was currently on a thousand-year vacation in the Astral Plane.

If he just stamped the file "Approved," the soul would be released back to the living world with a fifteen-year extension.

Maurice looked at the clock. It was 4:55 PM. He wanted to go home. He wanted to eat his lukewarm soup and read his book on the history of stamps.

*Thump.*

He stamped the file "Approved."

The soul was immediately beamed back to Earth. Maurice didn't feel guilty. He didn't feel a sense of injustice. He just felt a sense of relief that he didn't have to deal with Form 12-B.

Two weeks later, the DPE underwent a system-wide audit. Maurice was called into the office of the High Overseer.

"Maurice," the Overseer said, his voice sounding like a filing cabinet closing. "We've noticed a strange trend. A sudden spike in 'High-Value' souls being released from the launderies. All of them have the same variable error."

Maurice froze.

"It's a fascinating glitch," the Overseer continued, a small, cruel smile appearing on his face. "The Board has decided that since the error was so widespread, it's actually a sign of 'Divine Intent.' We're promoting the programmer who wrote the bug to Vice President."

Maurice blinked.

"And as for you, Maurice," the Overseer said, "since you were the one who processed the most 'Intentional' releases, you've been promoted to Head of the Error-Correction Department."

Maurice looked at his new office. It was a cubicle, slightly smaller than his old one, and it was located directly beneath a leaking pipe that dripped grey slime.

He sat down, opened his first file, and sighed. The bureaucracy was a perfect machine, and it always found a way to punish the people who tried to make it easy.

***

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