"Same as always?" Chen Mo asked.

0
22

The auto-door sensor chimed at 3:33 AM. Two tones, slightly out of phase, the upper one a fraction sharp. Chen Mo heard it over the hum of the coolers and opened one eye but did not sit up. He was behind the counter of the Neo-Mart on Route 62 outside Neo-Yangzhou, trying to sleep on a folding chair that had never been designed for human comfort.

The door opened. Footsteps. Slow, measured. The kind of footsteps that belonged to someone who knew exactly where he was going and did not intend to deviate from the path.

Lao Zhou walked to the back of the store and picked up a pack of Red Dragon cigarettes and a small coffee. He placed them on the counter and stood there, waiting. Chen Mo sat up and looked at him.

Lao Zhou looked forty. Maybe forty-two. His hair was dark and thick, his skin was smooth, his shoulders were broad. But his hands were shaking. Not much. Not enough that most people would notice. But Chen Mo had been watching him for six weeks and he had noticed.

"Same as always?" Chen Mo asked.

Lao Zhou nodded. "Same as always."

Chen Mo rang it up. 67.40 credits. Lao Zhou handed him a ten-yuan bill and Chen Mo gave him change. Lao Zhou took the coffee, opened the lid, and drank it standing up, right there at the counter, without looking at Chen Mo.

"Rough night?" Chen Mo asked.

Lao Zhou set the cup down. He looked at Chen Mo for the first time, and his eyes were tired. Tired in a way that had nothing to do with sleep and everything to do with carrying something heavy for a very long time.

"You could say that," he said.

"Everyone says that," Chen Mo said. "Doesn't help much."

Lao Zhou smiled. A small, genuine smile that reached his eyes and stayed there for about three seconds before fading. "You're right. It doesn't."

He finished the coffee, left a dollar tip, and walked out into the cold. The auto-door sensor chimed its two notes, slightly out of phase, the upper one a fraction sharp.

Chen Mo went back to sleep.

---

Xiao Kai was nineteen years old and he had never met a risk he didn't like. He had been Chen Mo's cousin since the third district, when they had both gotten caught hacking the neighborhood's ad-servers to bypass the subscription fee on classical music. Xiao Kai was tall and lean and handsome in the way that got him out of security dragnet sweeps and into trouble he couldn't get out of.

"So there's a guy," Xiao Kai said, leaning against the counter at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday. "Comes in here every night at 3:33. Looks like he's forty. I'm telling you, Chen Mo, he's juiced."

Chen Mo didn't look up from the register. "Lots of people look younger than they are."

"Not like this." Xiao Kai tapped the counter. "I've been watching him. He walks like an old man. Just—his knees are bad. His shoulders are bad. But his face is smooth. His hair is dark. It doesn't add up."

Chen Mo finally looked at him. "What are you going to do?"

"Find out what he's taking." Xiao Kai's eyes were bright with the kind of excitement that Chen Mo had learned to fear. "You're going to help me, right?"

"No," Chen Mo said.

"Come on, man. This could be something big. New gene therapy? New nano-mod? We could—""Xiao Kai, drop it."

But Xiao Kai didn't drop it. Xiao Kai never dropped anything. He followed Lao Zhou the next night, standing across the street from the Neo-Mart, watching through the window as Lao Zhou bought his cigarettes and his coffee and stood at the counter and drank his coffee and left.

"He looks normal," Xiao Kai said the next afternoon. "Too normal. That's what's weird. He looks like a guy who hits the gene-gym and drinks protein shakes. But his hands, Chen Mo. His hands are shaking. I saw it. I swear to God, his hands are shaking like an old man's."

Chen Mo was eating a nutrient paste at the kitchen table. His mother's room was down the hall and the television was on and she was watching soaps and laughing at things that weren't funny, the way she had been laughing for the past two years since she started taking whatever it was she was taking.

"Xiao Kai," Chen Mo said. "If you follow him again, I'm not coming with you."

"Since when do I need you to come with me?"

"Since always," Chen Mo said. "That's the point."

---

Chen Mo's mother, Lin, was forty-two years old and she had been drinking synthetic alcohol since Chen Mo's father left when Chen Mo was nine. She had been using whatever it was she was using for about eighteen months. Chen Mo didn't know what it was. He had asked her once, and she had looked at him with those glassy, unfocused eyes and said, "It's just vitamins, baby. The clinic prescribed them."

He had found the bottles in her nightstand drawer. They were not vitamins. They were not clinic-prescribed. They were small amber capsules, unmarked, with no label, no dosage information, nothing. He had taken one to a pharmacist friend at the CVS in Boardman District, and the pharmacist had looked at it, frowned, and said, "I can't identify this. It's not in any database. Where did you get it?"

"From my mom," Chen Mo had said.

The pharmacist had handed it back. "Tell her to see a doctor. A real doctor."

But Lin didn't see real doctors. She saw the clinic doctor who came to the house once a month and sat in the living room and talked to her for ten minutes and left a brown paper bag on the kitchen table. Chen Mo had tried to follow the clinic van once, but the man drove without headlights and took back roads and disappeared into the dark and Chen Mo had to turn around because he was seventeen and alone and the roads outside Neo-Yangzhou at midnight were not safe for anyone.

He stopped trying. He started stealing credits from his mother's purse to buy groceries. He started working extra shifts at the Neo-Mart. He started pretending he didn't hear her crying in the night.

---

Xiao Kai got the drugs from a guy named Tony Two-Tone, who got them from a guy in Cleveland Sector who used to work at a pharmaceutical company and knew where the bodies were buried and what the bodies had been injected with.

"It's called Youth-S," Xiao Kai said, sitting on the hood of his car in the empty parking lot behind the Kmart Mega-Structure. "Nano-cellular therapy. Someone tweaked the formula. Makes you look younger. Makes your skin tighter. Makes your hair grow back. It's not approved by anyone. It's not tested on anyone. It's just—someone's idea of what might work."

"How do you know all this?" Chen Mo asked.

"Tony knows a guy." Xiao Kai held up a small plastic bag containing six capsules. They were the same amber color as the capsules his mother took. "I got six pills. I'm going to try one. If it works, we split the rest. If it doesn't work, I wasted one pill and we move on."

"Xiao Kai, don't."

"Since when do you tell me what to do?"

"Since always," Chen Mo said. "That's the point."

Xiao Kai drove away. Chen Mo watched his taillights disappear down Route 62 and felt the familiar sinking feeling in his stomach—the feeling of knowing exactly what was going to happen and being unable to stop it.

He went back to work at the Neo-Mart. Lao Zhou was there at 3:33 AM, buying his cigarettes and his coffee. His hands were not shaking.

"Rough night?" Chen Mo asked.

Lao Zhou looked at him. There was something in his eyes—recognition, maybe, or pity. "You could say that."

---

Xiao Kai called Chen Mo at 6:43 AM on a Saturday.

"He's crashing," Xiao Kai said. His voice was high and tight, the voice of someone who was trying very hard not to panic. "I think—he's having a nano-toxicity reaction. He's on the floor. He can't breathe."

Chen Mo was in bed. He was wearing his jeans and a t-shirt. He was alone. His mother's door was closed and the television was off.

"Call med-evac," Chen Mo said.

"I did. They said twenty minutes."

"Go to his house. Stay with him."

"I can't find his house, Chen Mo. I don't know where he lives. He just—he gives me the credits and I give him the pills and he leaves."

Chen Mo was already pulling on his shoes. "Describe the place. Where did you get the pills?"

"A guy named Ray. He said the clinic comes to a house on Elm Street. Old house. White porch. There's a dog in the yard."

Chen Mo knew where Elm Street was. It was in Youngstown District, three miles from the Neo-Mart. He had driven past it a hundred times.

"I'm coming," he said. "Stay on the line."

---

The med-evac arrived at 7:12 AM. Chen Mo was there—had driven there, pushed through the front door of a house that smelled of antiseptic and old wood, found Xiao Kai kneeling on the floor beside a man who was turning blue, pressed his hands against Xiao Kai's chest and pushed and pushed until the paramedics arrived and took over.

The man on the floor was Lao Zhou. He was seventy-two years old—older than he looked, much older than he wanted to look—and his body was failing. Not just Xiao Kai's reaction. Lao Zhou's body. Chen Mo could see it now, standing over him: the grey at the temples that the nano-cells couldn't hide, the deep lines around the mouth, the way his bones showed through his skin like wires beneath paper.

"He's lucky," the paramedic said. "If he'd been under for another ten minutes, we'd be doing resuscitation instead of giving him oxygen."

Lao Zhou opened his eyes. They were clear. He looked at Chen Mo.

"You called med-evac," he said.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Chen Mo thought about it. He thought about Xiao Kai, kneeling on the floor, shaking. He thought about his mother, in her room down the hall, taking her amber capsules and laughing at the television. He thought about the bottles in the nightstand drawer, unmarked, untested, unknown. He thought about Lao Zhou, coming into the Neo-Mart every night at 3:33 AM, buying his cigarettes and his coffee, standing at the counter and drinking his coffee and leaving, carrying something heavy that no amount of nano-cellular therapy could make lighter.

"Because you're a person," Chen Mo said. "Not a product. Not a source. A person."

Lao Zhou was silent for a long time. Then he said, quietly, "I used to think my body was something you could fix. Like a machine. Like a synthesizer. You take it apart, you replace the broken parts, you put it back together and it runs." He looked at his hands—his real hands, seventy-two years old, shaking, veined, spotted with radiation burns. "I was wrong. The body isn't a machine. It's a story. And you can't edit the middle without changing the ending."

Chen Mo sat down on the floor beside him. The med-evac was loud—beeping machines, shouted instructions, the squeak of rubber soles on linoleum. But in the space between Lao Zhou's words and Chen Mo's silence, there was a quiet that felt almost holy.

"I'm sorry," Lao Zhou said.

"For what?"

"For making you watch."

Chen Mo shook his head. "You didn't make me do anything."

But they both knew that was a lie. Lao Zhou hadn't made him watch. The world had. The world that told nineteen-year-olds that their mothers' suffering was their problem. The world that let untested nano-therapy circulate in the lower districts with no regulatory oversight and no one to hold accountable when things went wrong. The world that produced men like Lao Zhou—men who spent their lives trying to fix broken things and ended up breaking themselves in the process.

Chen Mo stood up. He looked at Lao Zhou, who was being loaded into the med-evac, and he said, "I see you, Lao Zhou. I see what you're carrying. And I'm sorry it's so heavy."

Lao Zhou closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were wet. "Thank you," he said. "For seeing me."

---

Xiao Kai survived. He lost twenty percent of his liver function, but the doctor said he could live a normal life if he stayed off nano-therapy and stayed off synthetic alcohol and took care of himself. Chen Mo visited him in the hospital every day for a week, bringing him nutrient paste from the diner on Market Street and talking about nothing in particular—the weather, the basketball game on Thursday, the fact that the Neo-Mart was hiring for the night shift and Chen Mo was thinking about applying.

He quit the Neo-Mart the week after Xiao Kai was discharged. He used the credits he had saved—every credit he had earned pulling himself out of bed at 5:00 AM and standing behind the counter for twelve hours and stealing from his mother's purse and pretending he didn't hear her crying—to buy a maglev ticket to Shenzhen.

He didn't tell his mother. He didn't leave a note. He simply packed a bag, walked out the front door at 6:00 AM on a Tuesday, and got on the maglev.

He got a job at a synthesis warehouse in the Short North Sector. He rented a room in a boarding house on North High Street. He started going to community college in the evenings, taking classes in synthetic biology because it was the one subject that had always made sense to him—the one subject where cause and effect were real and verifiable and not dependent on the whims of a mother who took amber capsules and a world that let her.

He wrote to Lao Zhou once. He didn't know his address, so he addressed it to the Neo-Mart, Route 62, Neo-Yangzhou. He wrote three pages on the back of warehouse shipping labels, in handwriting that was neat but hurried, the handwriting of someone who was used to writing in places where he wasn't supposed to be writing.

The letter said:

"I don't know if you're reading this. I don't know if the Neo-Mart is still on Route 62 or if the owner changed or if the auto-door sensor still makes two notes, slightly out of phase. I don't know if you're still taking whatever it is you were taking or if you stopped or if you let yourself be seventy-two years old and tired and done pretending.

I'm writing to tell you that I saw you. Not your face—anyone can look forty if they inject enough nano-cells into their bloodstream. I saw you. I saw the man who comes into a convenience store at 3:33 AM because it's the only time the city's noise drops enough to hear himself think. I saw the man whose hands shake not from age but from carrying something he never asked to carry. I saw a person.

I don't know if that helps. Probably not. But I'm writing it anyway, because sometimes writing things down is the only way to make sure they happened. And what happened between us—that brief, strange, ordinary exchange at a counter in a convenience store in the middle of the night—happened. And it mattered.

I hope you find peace. However you define it. However you find it. I hope you stop fighting your body and start listening to it. I hope you let yourself be what you are.

I hope you know that someone saw you. And that was enough."

He mailed the letter from a post office on High Street. It was a mechanical box, one of the last in the district. He never received a reply. He assumed it had been returned or lost or ignored. He didn't let it bother him.

Three months later, he was working a shift at the warehouse when the television in the break room turned on, as it always did at 10:00 AM, broadcasting the morning news from WOIO Channel 19. The anchor was reading a brief item:

"Local authorities raided an unlicensed medical clinic in the Neo-Yangzhou area over the weekend, arresting one man suspected of distributing unapproved nano-compounds. The man, identified as seventy-two-year-old Lao Zhou, appeared significantly younger than his age and is being held without bond."

Chen Mo stood in the break room, holding a cup of coffee that had gone cold, and watched the television screen show a photograph of a man who looked forty, standing in handcuffs, with tired eyes and a set jaw and a dignity that no amount of nano-intervention could have given him.

He finished the coffee. He went back to work. He stacked boxes on a pallet and counted them and sealed the pallet with plastic wrap and wrote the shipping label in his neat, hurried handwriting.

And somewhere, in a cell in the Trumbull County Detention Center, Lao Zhou sat on a bunk and closed his eyes and let his face show its true age for the first time in thirty years, and for the first time in thirty years, he did not feel afraid.

The auto-door sensor at the Neo-Mart chimed at 3:33 AM. Two tones, slightly out of phase. The next person walked in.

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