The Livestock Manager
Log Entry: Cycle 442. Sector: Sol-3 (Local name: Earth). Status: Harvest in progress. Efficiency: 94%.
My name is Xylos, and I am a Grade-4 Resource Manager for the Consumption Empire. To be honest, this assignment is a bore. I've managed twelve planetary harvests in the last millennium, and they all follow the same tedious pattern: arrive, deploy the Ring, strip the minerals, and leave.
Earth is particularly annoying. The locals are surprisingly resilient, which makes the "sorting" process take longer than usual.
My current task is to oversee the "Livestock Integration" of the primate species. The High Command decided that the humans have a certain "marbled texture" to their consciousness that is highly prized in the upper districts of the Empire. So, instead of just processing them into raw biomass, we're keeping a few billion of them as luxury pets.
I spent my morning reviewing the quotas for the North American quadrant. One of the humans—a particularly loud one who thinks he's a "leader"—tried to negotiate a treaty with me. He spent three hours talking about "human rights" and "the sanctity of life."
I didn't tell him that in the Empire, "rights" are something you buy with energy credits, and "sanctity" is a term we use for high-grade fuel. I just nodded and smiled, which for my species involves vibrating my third set of mandibles. He thought I was considering his proposal. In reality, I was just wondering if he would taste better with a side of ionized salt.
The most tedious part of the job is the paperwork. I have to file a detailed report on the "Emotional State" of the livestock. The Empire believes that stressed meat is too acidic. So, I've had to authorize the deployment of "Euphoria Fields"—low-frequency waves that make the humans feel a vague sense of contentment while their cities are being dismantled around them.
It's a strange sight. I watched through my monitor as a group of humans danced in the streets, laughing and hugging, while the Ring above them was literally peeling the atmosphere off the planet. They were happy because I told them to be happy.
I sometimes wonder if they realize how pathetic they are. Not in a cruel way, just in a factual way. To them, this is the end of the world. To me, it's just a Tuesday.
I'm looking forward to the end of the cycle. I've heard the next assignment is in the Andromeda cluster, and the planets there are made of crystalline silica. Much easier to harvest. No talking, no treaties, just pure, silent extraction.
Log end. I'm going to go eat a senator. I hear they're particularly succulent this season.
***
OTMES-v2-V07-S07-M3-225-8R400-L0S1 E_total: 13.8 Dominant Mode: M3 (Irony/Sarcasm) Dominant Angle: 225° (Alienated) Irreversibility: 1.0 M_vector: [5.0, 0.0, 10.0, 2.0, 6.0, 3.0, 4.0, 0.0, 1.0, 5.0] N_vector: [0.9, 0.1] K_vector: [0.1, 0.9]
Based on the pending patent application document (202610351844.3), creationstamp.com has calculated the tensor feature encoding of this article:
OTMES-v2-UNKNOWN
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